aN Z ISSR AS DIALOGUES No. 22 BEADLE AND ADAMS, 98 WILLIAM 8ST, NEW YORK. | General Dime Book Publishers, . om > a ALY c~ a p ME AEF AP, sa ime J)ialogues and Speakers For Schools, Exhibitions, Home Entertainments and Amateur Stage. 65 Votumes. Hac 100 12mMo Paazus. These Original Dialogues, Minor Dramas, Scenic and Dress Pieces, and Rostrum Divertisements have now a national recogni- tion and reputation, for their excellence, availability and singu- larly varied character, have sent the little volumes into Schools, Homes and Associations throughout every State and Section of this Country and the Dominion. The * Dialogues” now number forty issues or books, and the “Speakers” twenty-five. Each volume of the ‘‘ Dialogues” con- tains from fifteen to twenty pieces—expressly prepared for the series by teachers, dramatic experts, and selected writers — all skilled in such work:—hence the unbounded success of the series with Schools of all grades, Scholars of all ages, Exhibitions and the Amateur Stage. The “Speakers.” containing from sixty to seventy pieces each, run the whole range of oratory, recitation and declamation, giving what is best in el.quence, argument, humor, vernacular and dialect—prose and verse—and thus making the series a perfect ‘mine of good things, not only for declamation and recitation but for School and Family Readings. {ay This series of books has no equal for availability and merit of matter, and has a wider popularity among teachers, scholars, schools and amateurs than any series or single volumes yet published, at any price, in this country. These books are for sale by all newsdealers, or sent, post-paid, to any address, on receipt of price, ten cents each, : Beadleand Adams, Pbliaheps. 98 William Street, New York. PHE DIME DIALOGUES No. 22. COMPRISING ORIGINAL HUMOROUS EPISODES, COMIC VOLLISIONS, COLLOQUIES. DRESS PIECES, FUNNY LITTLE PLAYS, LAUGHABLE FAMILY AFFAIRS, Erc., VOR SCHOOLS AND SCHOLARS OF ALL GRADES AND BOTR SHXES AND PARTICULARLY ADAPTED FOR THE HOME, SCHOOL AND HXHIF'TION STAGR. NEW YORK: BEADLE AND ADAMS, PUBLISHERS, No, 98 WILLIAM STREET. CONTENTS. PAGH Tue Dark Cupip; or, THe Mistakes or A Mornina. A Domestic : Contretemps. For three gentlemen and two ladies. By the author of “ Wit against Wife,’’ ‘‘ Polly cakes “The es an,”” CLG CEC OTe a.? gases yeas foes THAT Ne’ER-DO-WELL: or, A BROTHER’S LESSON. For two males ‘and two females. By Frank §. Fian....... _ Hien Arr; or, Taz New Mania, For two ‘girls. “By ‘Mrs. "Mark = Peabody Sad Sa ay See ORI tae se ecg eee knee Lee nae SrRANGE ADVENTURES. A paces inverse. For two boys. By the Sierra Bard THe Kine’s Supper. A Sunday School ae: From the School Festival. For four girls. By Sara M. Kniel . A Practical EXEMPLIFICATION. For two boys. By Edwin D. Mason. Trranta’s Banquet. A Fairy dress and exhibition piece. For a number of girls. Adapted for the ‘‘ Athenzeum.” By ©. S. Hill Monsieur THIERS IN AMERICA; or, YANKEE 0s. FRENCHMAN. A seri- ous Farce. For four boys. By Miss Alice C, Victor ........ .... Doxy’s Dretomacy. A Summer Boarder’s Scare. For three females and a number of “ incidentals.”” By Jennie Grayson. A Frencumayn; or, Tat Ovtwitrep Aunt, A Parlor and Exhibition Comedy Charade. For two ladies and one gentleman. By M.8.S. Boys Witt Be Boys. A Vacation Escapade. For two boys — one girl. “By Usele Ropes 52 sce ter pity eens eee A Ratny Day; or, THe Scnoou-Grrt PatLosoPHERS, “For three othe: ladies. By Miss Sadie O. Morrow ................-- Gop Is Lov. A Flower Exercise for Sunday School Concerts. From ee Ff stival. Fora Sree of scholars. By Mrs. M. B.C. ade ..... Tue Way He Maxagup, a Tn-ioor Experience. For two males and two females. By Mrs. Annie EK. James Fanpanao. An Acting Charade. For various characters, white and Obharwise,“ By. an Bieute os oc be. 2 Had. ss a= Cobain de nterar bese Tue Lirrte Doctor. For two tiny girls. By Aunt Metta ........... A Sweet Revence. For four boys. By Frank S. Finn............. + A May Day. For three little girls. By Aunt Metta .. ..... ve From THE SUBLIME To THE RipicuLous. An Out-of-door ‘ Demonstra _ tion.’ For fourteen Males. By Miss A. O. Phelps ....... ..o.+0« Hear? Nor Face. Adapted. For five boys. By J.N. E.....-..sse0e . Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1878, by BEADLE AND ADAMS, In the office of the Librarian of Congress, at Washington. THE DIME } DIALOGUES No. 22. THE DARK CUPID; OR, THE MISTAKES OF A MORNING. A DOMESTIC CONTRETEMPS. FOR THREE GENTLEMEN AND TWO LADIES. ( Enter Cruy, dressed as waiting maid.) City. Ison my dignifidity now, Tis; an’ I jest guesses I knows de business to de demonstration. De fust waitin’- maid, Iis—dats me! To attend on Miss Edith—-to answer de doo’ an’ keep de parlahs in order. An’ I can do dat/ I’m complished in de art ob showin’ gentle’m in. (Bows, curtesies, waves hand; ‘‘ Wid pleasure, sah! dis way, sah ! take a seat, sah! TU present your card, sah!” Bows and curtesies again.) Dats my style, an’ I's’pecs dat missus will js’ envy me.de grace (Hnter Cmsar unobserved by Citiy. He has a large bouquet in his right hand, and holds his white beaver hat in his left. He tis dressed up in the ‘ highest style? of a darkey cox- comb) wid which I receibs. J isn’t any of yo’ common nig- gas, an’ I’s goin’ to—( turns and discovers Casan, who com- mences a series of elaborate bows to her.) Oh, de Lord save me!. Who is you, an’ whar do ye come from—say ? Casar. Wid de compliments ob de season, an’ de sweet- est odors ob de Japonica on you, I hab de honah to con- front you on dis ’spicious ’casion. (Bows elaborately again, and Cmiy responds by elaborate curtesies.) Is you de mistriss ob dis mansion? You's purty enqngh, dat’s shuah! Sich eyes, like de full moon in de conclave; ‘sich cheeks, like de roses ob Pittsburg; sich lips, like de gates ob Paradise; sich teef, like de picket-fence inside dat gate—it’s jes’ de greates’ 10 THR DIME DIALOGUES. honah ob my ’sistence to hab de pleasure ob dis presenti: ment. Ciuuy. Oh, go ’way wid yo’ devours! Jes’ come to de fac’—w’at yo’ want hyer; w’at’s yer name, an’ w’at’s dat fo’ yo’ got in yer han’? Cassar. Golly, wen yo’ opens dat Sweet mouf you jess talks—dat’sso! Gixteen questions in one breaf! Wat I wants hyer? I wants de star ob de mornin’. .W’at’s my namei t’s Cesar Polybius Antihallicarnassus Blub. Wi’at’s dis in my san’? It’s de offering ob wealth to beauty—de mes- sage ob de lubbing to de lubly, an’ I de Cupid w’at is de messenger. City. You a Cupid! Ha—ha! Whar’s de wings! Guess yo’ hasn’t any but chicken-wings. ‘Whar’s de bow an’ ‘arrow? Guess yo’ isn’t much on de dear hunt. Dai isn’t yo’ style. Casar. Oh, yo’ is jokin’, now, yo’ is. Yo’ is too smart an’ sweet not to see dat I come heah on de mission 05 lub—to present dis boket ob de scarses’ flowers to yer missis fo’ my master; dat’s jes’ de way de breezes am blowin’. Crtty. Den w’y didn’t yo’ say se at once, yo’ cheap clo* sign—say! oe Casar. Look a heah, yo’ gal w’at yo’ puttin’ on airs fo’, dat’s w’at I wants to know? ‘You’s mighty stuck up fo’ a wench w’at used to carry de ¥,ashin’ home w’en— Ciuty. Yo’ is de insultinest wgger I eber saw, yo’ is! = yo’ git out o’ hyer quick or T’li larm de house. (Screams. ) Cassar. Oh, de. Lordy massa—-don’t, don’t! T's a sick _ rigger, I is; I'll ’poligise—I’ll ax yer forgibness— (Enter JAcon.) Jacos. {Astonished. Camsar looks frightened and puts bow quet in his hat.) Eh? Vot for you screams bimeby shuost now? Crtuy. Dat nigger! (Pointing st Casar.) Cassar, Dat nigger! © (Pointing at Cruuy.) Jacos. (Looking at each, and approaching CasaR.) Eb! Who you was? Casar. Cesar Polybius Antijhallicarnasgus Blub. THE DARK CUPID 11 Jacos. Yaw, schoostso; you screams, Miss Cilly, at hees pig name, eh? Cuuty. No; he insulted me. Jacos. Ish dut so! I makes von goroner some dings to fo. I kills a nigger quick den you say so. Citiy. Oh, no; let him go; he’s ’poligised. eacon. Zesar, schoost puts your hat on so quick as vink (Cassar puts on hat.) Das vay; it stays on petter. Smashes hat down over his eyes and CiuLy screams.) Eh, vat Jor you screams vonce again? Crituy. Oh, de boket—de boket! (Rushes at Cassar and pulls off hat, and bouquet drops out on floor, a smashed mass.) Cassar. Oh, de Lord! Dis nigga’s goose is cooked! Twenty dollars and marssa’s compliments! Oh, de Lord bless us; dis nigga’s done gone! (Crnuy and Jacon both bend over Jouquet, when Casar knocks their heads together, shoves JAcos over and rushes for the door, when he runs against Epren, who ts just entering.) : Epirn. (Jn amazement.) What does all this mean--Cilly —Jacob? (Jacon gets up from floor.) And this man-- -(point- ing to Cassar, who stands trembling,) who is he? Wit! you answer? (Wo one speaks. Eprru advances and picks up bou- quet.) And this—what does it mean? Cilly —Jacob! Ciniy. Dat nigger! Jacos. Yaw, shoost so—dat nigger. Eprru. And here is a note. (Reads:) ‘Dear Edith, will you accept this, and in the language of the flowers read the story of a love that 1 am afraid to speak? Yours in hope, Jocelyn Hillaire.” Oh, what miserable mistake his? Casar._ I’s off fo’ Texas! (Heit, Epirn. Oh, to think that 2és beautiful gift should be so eated, and these flowers all crushed which. were to tell me she story of hés love. (Gazes at bouquet and shows signs of an- yer as JOCELYN enters unobserved.) Oh, I'd rather have (Looks up and sees JOCELYN, who advances and beholds bouquet mrushed.) : Jocetyn. And is itthusmy gift is scorned? Alas, I had dared to hope (Cassar puts head in at door) that I might ba more to you than— - 1g THE DIME DIALOGUES. « City. Dat nigger —dat nigger’s de matter, sah! Jacos. Yaw, schoost so—dat nigger’s nefer so goot for somedings ash ven I goes mit him mit my poots. Caisar. (At the door.) Oh, marster, it’s dat wench an de Dutchman; dat’s so; hope I may die dead if it isn’t! Jacos. (Starting for door.) I shoost kills you mit a min ate, quick : Ciuury. (Catching hold of Jacos.) Oh, no, Jacob—don’t; Cesar, depart! but call again w’en de coas’ is cl’ar, for I got to ‘splain to you. (Heit Cmsan.) And now, Jacob, jes - you go about your business an’ learn nex’ time not to inter- fere in de affairs ob de parlah, sah. Jacos. You say so, eh? Dat is schmart, eh? Ven] vas a vool I moost go py te nigger’s hat not so mooch, eh? Mister Jocelyn (bowing), das ish von gueer misdake mit a bou- quet from te nigger’s het, und de wench screams somedings und das happens so ash vas noddings know to me, und so I s’pects Mistress Edith she vas sheated pat mit te misdake, und das ish te reason it gooms apout—so/ Tish glat mit you somedimes, sare, (Bows and exit.) Epitn. I don’t know what the man means, but I know, Mr. Hillaire, that there has been some mistake here which I deeply ragrat. JoceLyN. Do you say so? Crmuy. WDat’s a fac’ mass’r; de flowers war crushed in Cesar’s hat, an’ w’en Missis Edith found ’em so she war angry, an’ w’en she read your sweet note she— Epira. There, there, Cilly, you can go. Cruuy. Yes, mistiss; but, if you please, may I hab de pleasure ob ’splainin’ t’ings #0 Cesar, in de kitchen, dis eber in’, widout Jacob interferin’? ? aonrs. I suppose so; so go now. (Heit Crux, with a low curtesy and bow.) Jocetyn. Ard since my poor bouquet cannot now tell its story (takina 'vr hands), may I tell it myself? Korre. /f vou please! (Curtain falls.) THAT NE’ER-DO-WELL. THAT NE@’ER-DO- WELL, FOR TWO MALES AND TWO FIOMALES. Characters :—Jonas Beck, Frank Bucs, drothers, Mrs Beck, ther mother, Moxie Becx, Jonas’s wife. T %e scene represents a kitchen in a New England farmhouse, Jonas and Mouuin Beck discovered. ‘ONAS Well, Mollie, I have had another ketter from ‘that #’er-do-well brother of mine. To be sure it’s a month old, for I've carried it that length of time ere I thought to open it. I knew, from the writing, who was the sender, 60 thought it of not enough consequence to open it, but, to- day, as I had a few leisure moments to spare I did open and mad it. : Mou. And what did it say? Begging and complain ng, as usual? J. Almost akin to that. He’s coming home. M. And he imagines you will be willing to support him; out if you are, you have less foresight then I give you credit for. : J. Charity must begin at home, Mollie. I must be just before I am generous. I will read you his letter and you can better understand his meaning than I can. (Reads. ) “DAR BrotierR Jonas.—After several years’ absence: 4 am coming home and [hope you will be glad to see ma = For the sake of ‘Auld Lang Syne’ TI expect you will extend your hand to me and say—‘ Stay with us. Make our hvuuse your home.’ If you have a spare fifty dollars about you I could soon find use for it.” M. Well, I never! Of all the brazen impudence | eve came across I must say your brother Frank bears off ths prize. ‘Make our house his home,’ indeed! The map must be crazy. A lunatic asylumis the best home for nin, Fifty dollars to spare! Does he think we eat off gold dishes I’ve no doubt he could find use for the money if he could get it ; J. But, he can’t get it—at least from me, Times are not so flush as to allow me to add to my already heavy ex: . penses. I must economize and retrench. I have thought 14 THE DIME DIALOGUES. mother would be much happier if I placed her in the poor- house. She would have more care and attention than we can bestow upon her here. You know she is old, and child. ish, and has her whims. Of course, deimg my mother, 1 ought to do the best I can for her and I do think she would be far happier there fman here. M. TI agree with you there. I think you have always G.ae your duty by her, much to your own inconvenience J. It was my Christian duty so todo. I have felt far happier. When I have gone to bed at night I have laid my and upon my heart and exclaimed, ‘I have done my duty,’ and even now, if mother is comfortable at the poor-house, J can still lay my hand on my heart and exclaim, ‘I have done my duty.’ M. How 4) you think your mother will like the arrange- ment? ‘ J. I don’t think she will like it at all, but we must all have our troubles, and trials, and tribulations in this valley of tears. She must do as I do when IJ have a grievance. M. How is that? : J. Get used to it. It’s the only way to get through the world. We all have to fight our battles and we must all fook out for number one. ; M. See what it is to be blessed with a husband who has eo.clear a head and so great a heart. I really think the neighborhood quite envy me the possession of-so great a treasure. Now, I think it’s not best to put off a disagreea- dle duty but to carry our plans ot at once. If I have an aching tooth I go to the dentist’s at once and have it pulled. If I see any of my neighbors’ sons and daughters acting as they should not, I don’t dilly-dally, shilly-shally about it, brs { just put.on my bonnet and shawl and tell the parents con serning the matter and thus free my mind. So, I say & you. that the sooner you tell your mother the better for all parties concerned. ‘To be true to ourselves we must do our duty and do it at once. J Iwill act upon your advice. A good time too, for here mother comes. (Hnter Mrs. Becs.) We were just think- _ Ing and speaking of you, mother Mrs. Beck. Good thoughts and speech, I hope, my son. J. We were thinking that you must be far from com THAT NE’ER-DO-WELL. 15 fortable here and that you need a better home for your de clining years, and so, all things considered, I have decided xt is best to have you live upon the Poor Farm, They make a specialty of caring for the aged and infirm. Mrs. B. Is it possible I am listening to: such worda from my own son? I surely must be dreaming! Is not the farm doing well? Have I become a burden upon the tnild to whom I gave life? If such a thing has come ta ass, sad, very sad, is the day for me. J. Well, mother, taxes are higher than they used to be I lost money on my potatoes this year. Living is more ex pensive than in days gone by, and every spare ceut I have must go toward the fund for the new church. The Bible inculcates the lesson of charity. Mrs. B. Yes, indeed, the Good Book does. Jonas, yor pretend to be a Christian and you can quote Scripture glibly. Do you not know the passage, ‘‘ Honor thy father and thy mother, that thy days may be long in the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee?” J. And haven’t I done well by you? What I am now doing is for your own sole and especial bencfit—to ease your declining years. Mrs. B. When I gave up my share of the farm to you, I supposed you would take care of me and give me a home for life. J. It was not so stated in the deed. It wasn’t put in writing. . Mrs. B. When I held you in my arms, a poor and fee- ble babe, I pledged myself to work for and support you un- til you were old enough to care.for yourself, and] endes- vored to do so to the best of my ability, but ‘ a wasn’t pw yn writing. Are you in the plot against me, too, Mollie! You are a woman; would you wish to be cast adrift n yeus old age and placed upon the town? M. It is not a wife’s place to act in opposition to her husband’s wishes. If he deems it right it would be wicked for me to say that he was wrong. | J. You need not feel badly about it, mother, for I think have company there. Frank is coming home ap@ ve to go there alsa. SS ST SEES 16 THE DIME DIALOGUES. Mrs. B- Frank coming home? Joyful news! Perhaps he will give me a home. M. There is not much prospect of that, for, from his letter 40. Jonas, I imagine he is ‘‘as poor as a church mouse.’ J. He is a ne’er-do-well. That’s the best yor can say of aim. Mrs. B. You never seemed to care for him, Jonas, bv, ke was true and good, and, in my mother heart, I sha’ never cease to love him. J. I dislike him because he is reckless and improvident When I bought his share of the farm, what did he do with the money | paid him? Foolishly squandered it. Mrs B. No, Jonas, no; the money was not foolishly squandered. It was used to pay a just debt incurred by your and his father, and because you would not pay you share, he willingly paid the whole. _ J. The more fool he! There was no necessity to pay any cf it. The note could not be found. Mrs. PR. What of that? The debt was due all the same. ik know your father would have wished it settled, and the wishes of the dead should be heeded as well as those of the tiving. J. You have strange notions, mother. One needn't be too particular in sweh matters. ; Mrs. B. Asif people could be too particular when hon- esty and uprightness are concerned! I may be aged, but I’m not too old to know right from wrong. Jonas, Jonas! you may have religion on your tongue, but if you have it not ip your heart what will it avail you? M. Mother, you underrate my husband’s good qualities ve is justice itself. I cannot bear to see him abused, and i aave held my tongue as long as T was atile. I think you aave always loved that ne’er-do-well brother of his the best. if A can give you a home, ask him to do so, and see if he will. (Enter FRANK, in shabby and seedy garments.) Frank. And here is the ne’er-d)-well to answer for him elf! (Mrs. Back rushes to him and embraces him. | THAT NETER-DC WHEL 4? Mrs. B. Mv own, dear, good boy! They are threaten ing to send your poor old mother to the poor-house. ¥. Well, you sha’n’t go, by a long chalk, 1f I can prevent it, and I am almost sure I can. J. How? F. The “tow” will come in good time enough. 1 snow one thing, if | don’t know much more, and that is that ) long as I have a crust of bread, you dear old mother shal ive half of it. Your home shall be with me. J. A pretty home you will have to offer her. Perhaps you will start the establishment with that fifty dollars yon would . to borrow of me, \ F. I did not want to borrow of you. That clause iv my letier concerning the fifty dollars was put in as a little bit of irony. I did, however, know of a good investment fer it, and that was in purchasing a more charitable heart for you, : J. it, and ther I guess you'll find you knew something about it | before. Mary. Do you know what king it was, Julia? .: JuLiA. Oh, it is the best King that ever lived—so good and kind that everybody loves Him that knows Him, and He says He loves everybody, too. Caxnig. Yes, and He’s invited everybody to the feast He is going to make ready. Mary. Why, am I invited, Carrie? Nerrig, And am I, too? 3 Carrim, Yes; grandpa said the. King wanted everyludy | to be there, and he told me to ask everybody I saw—even | .it.te beys and girls —to the King’s Supper. q Ju1ia. Grandpa read us the invitation the good King | gave, too. He said that no one would be slighted or left | out there. I asked grandpa if he would write off the invita- | tion for me, so that I could read it to you. q Nerrre. Read it to us now, Julia, please. I don't be | lieve it means me, too, Junta. Yes, it does—you and Mary—just listen an see if it doesn’t. (JuLta reads.) ‘‘ The Spirit and the Bnd say Come. And let him that heareth say, Come. And let him that is athirst come. And whosoever will, let him take the water of life freely.” 4 Mary. ‘‘ Whosoever” meaus everybody, so it must mean Nettie and me, too. Nerriz. At whose table is the supper to be? 4 Carnip, The King’s Son said that we should eat and © drink at His Father’s table in His beautiful Kingdom. ,THE KING’s SUPPER. } Jura. But where ¢s the beautiful Kingdom? You didn’t tell, Carrie. ' Carrie. I asked grandpa, and he said it was only a little _ way off from every one, and the King’s Son would show us _ the way to it. ’ Mary. But if it should be stormy we couldn’t go, could we? Carriz. I didn’t think of that—did you, Julia? Jura. Oh, Carrie, don’t you remember that grandpa - said that there didn’t ever any storms come, and that it is _ fair land where the King lives? The book that told all - about it said there wasn’t any heat there, and the sun didn’t _ shine at all, for the city was so bright tnere was no need of it. There was something brighter thun the sun to make everything light Neri. Who'll be there besides us girls, do you know? Carriz. A great multitude, whicn no man can number. Mary. Oh, how I should like to go!—and I } cency and honor. I discard you henceforth from. my house and heart. From my house, sir, which you have entered like a—a burglar, a vagabond, and from my heart, as I _ would uproot from my affection any iniquitous scion of my honored name. |} Cuarues. Reflect, dear aunt, on yourcruel words, which, } at this time of affliction, leave a sting of untold bitterness. } Yov are now the only near relative I have left to me in this world. Poor uncle Tom Hilton died last week, Mrs. G. What! your father’s brother dead? Caries, Alas! it is too true; and, indeed, my trials are hot over yet; for to one of your superior wisdom, you will understand how embarrassing the management of his large estate will be to me, A mere boy. At my tender q Age. ] Mrs. G. (ZLaughing.) Don’t speak of it, yourogue. You | have acquitted yourself of the charge of a lack of brains, and ‘| thust forgive and forget, my dear boy. | Cuaries (Aside.) How tender she is. I always knew | ‘the had a substratum of softness in the granite of her heart, "hich I have touched at last. _ Mrs. G_ (Delightedyy.) My dearest nephew. What a | Slorious fortune! , } Cnarues, A cool two thousand a year, besides my own fortune when I’m aman; and Hillside .farm, too. Mrs. G. Don’t speak of it, you amusing scamp. As it ‘could ever refuse you anything for long. How you did ‘ct the part of Frenchman! You are a clever fellow, Charla Mat ha! ha! 68 THE DIMA DIALOGUES. CHARLES. (Modestly.) And you will give me the deal — Amelia, aunt? ‘ Mrs. G. Most undoubtedly, dear boy, for you have ac quitted yourself of a want of ability. To be sure you both are rather young, but that is a matter easily got over. UHARLES. (Aissing her hand joyously.) Ueaven bless yon, 7 beloved aunt Harriette. You have made two hearts blest }_ and I begin to think that, with a few hints and a little sen | #hle advice from yourself, I may really undertake my respon | bilities, and if I play my part as husband as well as I have | dene that of Frenchman, do you think, dear folks, that Amelia need regret the venture? (Beit.) (Curtain falls.) BOYS WILL BE BOYS, A DIALOGUE FOR TWO BOYS AND ONE GIRL Scene I. (Enter Uncte Srvon.) Sacre Simon. Well, if I won't be glad when that boy gees back to school, I don’t know who will! I really don’ see how | have managed to live through this vacation. pity his teachers! (Goes to seat himself on a chair, but it move away from hin.) Goodness, what now? (Stoops and examin# chair.) If that rascal hasn’t gone and tied a string to thi leg! Tl fix him! (Rushes off stage and returns in a minute. Of course he would be out of the way, but I'll see him soe" Now I must take that book I promised to Miss Jennie ~ wast change my coat first. (Zakes book from table and ¥ * wt.) (Enter Bruiy from opposite direction.) Brrty . Ho, ho! How I wish he’d sat down! Wouldn that chair have danced! Let me sce, there was another thing ‘I thought of last night. What was it? I fixed the cha’ sewed the buttons on his coat, salte? bis coffee, and nov there’a something else, and I can’t remember it. Oh, bo¥ BOYB WILL BR BOYS. 6? _ my fingers hurt! I guess I won’t sew any more buttons on, even for a joke. I pricked myself at least fifty times. (Puts hand in his pocket and pulls out a piece of string.) What's this _ for? Oh, I know now! (Proceeds to tie it across the floor in such a manner that his uncle will trip as soon as he reaches the | middle of the floor.) Poor uncle, I hope he won’t hurt him self. How often has he excused me, saying, ‘‘ Boys will b _ ‘oys;” but how can a fellow live if he don’t have a little ex djtement? If Uncle Simon hadn’t kept me shut up here al. _ ‘his vacation, instead of letting me go off somewhere, he -Wouldn’t have had such a hard time of it. Oh! here he Comes, and here I go! (Avit Buuuy.) (Enter Uncie Simon.) _ Uncrze§. I am glad I have taken that book to Miss Jennie. I have wanted to, for some time, but couldn’t get courage to. I wonder what she was laughing at when I _ Went down the steps. Thunderation! (Zrips ond falls over string.) Murder! On! _ Bruty. (Rushes in.) What’s the matter, unc e? Did you fall down? (Assists his uncle to rise.) _ Unotn 8. You—you—you—rascal! _ He ¢ dare you? ‘| Come here, sir! Bitty. T guess I'll leave you till you hay, some breath 4nd get cooled down a little. Uncie 8. (Springing up.) Comehere, sir! (BuLLy comes back and seats himself.) : Busty. Now, see here, Uncle Simon, you know I’m going back to school next week— Uncie S. Yes, thank Heaven! Bruny. Well, I say thank Heaven, too! Uncie S. Yes, you ungrateful boy. You say that, afte Ttook you at the very beginning of your vacation, and hava tept you with me in a nice house, with books, and pictures, 8nd, in fact, everything a quiet, nice boy could ‘wish, and-— Bmuy. Yes, that’s just it; instead of lettiag me g¢ off Somewhere, you have kept me shut up all vacation in a _ house ir town. You can’t expect a boy tc t.ad suck a life 48 a gentleman of forty — _ Uncitr 8. Take care, young man! You know very well ‘have just passed my thirty-fifth birthday. wB THE DIME DIALOGUES. Bitty Well, asa gentleman of ¢tiurty-five. Could you expect me to be quiet, if— Uncte 8. See here, this is quite a lecture, and I think ft is my turn now. What did you tie that string across the floor for? And what did you tie a string to that chair-leg for? I’ve talked and argued enough with you; now I think Tl try the effect of a feeling lecture. You ean go up staire first, and get my other coat. I am afraid of stretching this ~— one. (Hvit Brnuy.) What can I do with that boy? Perhaps’ ]_ J have been wrong in keeping him here, but I never thought. | | (Hnter BILLy with dressing-gown. UNCLE Simon takes off cout, suddenly stops and holds it up, looking at the tails, which have four or five large buttons sewed on, and 1 long streamer of colored ribbons.) Unctz 8. William Kosciusko Zabriskie, did you deco- rate my coat in this manner? Bruuy. If you’d see the pricks on my fingers, uncle, ’m — afraid you’d think so. Uncie 8. (Sitting down and groaning.) And I went to Miss Jennie’s in that plight! What must she have thought! Pll never get over the mortification or be able to face her — again. And I was just beginning to feel I was making a little headway in that direction! (Starting up.) Oh, you~ scalawag! What punishment is hard enough for you! And I’ve lost my chance with Miss Jennie forever! Off with your | coat, sir! Bry. (Whimpering.) Now, uncle, please don’t! I was | only anticipating April Fool’s day a few months. Pleas don’t whip me! Uncie 8. Hold your tongue! (Takes hold of him, puis ¥f his coat, and proceeds to lay on his slipper, while Buy hollert snd tries to get away.) There, sir, perhaps you have ha snough for the present, but for fear you will break out» again D’ll-- (Site him in a chair and ties him to it with Ve same cord which BruLy had stretched across the room.) Now Tll leave you there for the present to repent of your sins: (Goes out.) Buy. I'll be even with him yet! I don’t care what} do now! The idea of his whipping me for such a littl thing! (Struggles violently to get loose and at laat succeeds ee tte! a O- eP ae BOYS WILL BE BOYS. 68 breaking the string.) There, thought he had me this -time, did he? Guess he’ll find he was mistaken! I know what Pll do; I'll grease the steps! Don’t care if he does fall; he had no business to whip me. (Heit.) (Curtain falls.) Scene II. | Gurtain rises, discovering Uncim Simon lying on a sofa, "3 la — and head bandaged, and arm in @ sling. Table standing near, with bottles, etc. Hnter housekeeper with tumbier of wine. Uncie S. Where is William, Mrs. Smith? _ Mrs. 8. _ I guess he’s in his room, sir. Indeed, I haver’t Seen him since you was brought in yesterday, sir. I sent the } butler up-stairs with his breakfast, but Master Billie wouldn’t ‘et him come in. _ Uncre 8. Please send some one up to tell him I would like to see him. (Hvit Mrs. 8.) What shall I say to him? He must feel dreadfully! What could have made him grease those steps? I know he is mischievous, but I shouldn’t have } thought he would have done sucha thing. I expect I made } him mad by whipping him. (Door slowly opens and BrILLy | tuters, walking with downcast head.) Come here, Billy. (BrLLy | Ptrsts out crying and falls on his knees beside the sofa.) Baty. On, uncle, how can you ever forgive me? I ‘rer thought! After J bad done it, 1 wanted to clean the eps, but I saw yon eeming, and it was too late! I dare st ask you to forgive me, for I do not deserve it. Oh, if ere was only sowething { could do to show you how sorry amt Unctz 8 Wail, William, don’t take on so badly about for it can’t he helped now. I hope, my boy, that thia ll be a lessen to you. Bmuy. St will, it will! __ Unerz §. Perhaps I have been too strict with you, Wil- No, uncle, you have not been strict enough with T have been a wicked, ungrateful boy. & PH DIME DIALOGUES, Uncue S. Well, don’t say any more about it now. I ain glad to see you in such a spirit. Go away now, for I am tired. A little later we will talk it over. (Hw Bituy.) Poor boy! I have been too close with him, and no wonder he acted so. Next vacation he shall go t@ the country, and have a jolly time. I forget that “ Boy# “vill be boys!” (Curtain falls.) A RAINY DAY. FOR THREE GIRL& (Enter Ema.) q Emma. I wonder what subjects Rose and May have s¢ | fected for their compositions this week, Miss Burton gave so many to choose from? Here comes Rose; Wll ask hem 7 (Enter Rose.) Good-morning, Rose. Got your exsay pre pared? A Rose. Goodness, yes; Isat up two hours later than wa last night and spent half the time selecting a subject. I be lieve r% d have finished sooner had I had fewer to pick from. What’s yours? Emma. ‘A Rainy Day ”—and yours? 5 Rosz. Why, how funny!” That’s mine, too! I wonde how much alike they are? / Emma. About as much as we are like one another I su# pect; and, come to think of it, I wouldn’t be one bit si prised if May had chosen the same one, too, for, you knew, she has a partiality for rainy days. Here she comes, 910 ing as usual; 1 never saw such a girl for good-naturz. don’t believe any thing could put her out. (Enter May.) Rosg. May, what’s the subject of your composition thi week? - q May. Good-morning, girls; my subject is Rainy Day Maybe you are not aware of it, but I am particularly fond of them 4 A RAINY DAY. 61 fama and Rosp, (Laughing.) What a coincidence! Emma, Will you believe, we have both taken it, too? and yas saying tu Rose as you came along that it would be Just like you if you, too, chose it. Rosse, Let’s compare notes! May. I’m willing, if there’s time before the bell rings ho’ll begin? Shall we draw lots? Rosz. 1 guess that won’t be necessary. May ca Off; I'll follow suit, and Em shall come in for a ] fusle. Hurry up, May, we've only fifteen minutes te _ Eva. One, two, three-— _ May. (Reading.) “ Rainy Days. “For my part, [ like rainy days. To be sure, one can’t $0 away from home, and is not very liable to receive visits, et there are many pleasant things which-may be done on a ainy day, while if it were sunshiny, one might never think Of them. In the first place if I can get a good book to tead, I don’t care how it may storm outside for I am obli- ious to all around me. But, if I can’t get a book, my next Greatest pleasure is to go up in the attic and rammage among ‘the old things there. I wish you could all see scme of the queer and ancient things I find. There is a spinning vheel two hundred years old which I don’t doubt has many time buzzed in the presence of Washington, for Great- randmother Williams knew him well. I’ve tried several times to spin with it and such work as I’ve made! But it’s fan. Then there igs an old-fashioned bureau in one corner Which used to belong to grandma and is full of her clothes, ‘even to a lovely silver brocade, which was her wedding ress. There are other beautiful dresses, too, made up i Ae fashions of over seventy years ago, and rare old laces sod even some jewelry. One little drawer is full of letters, —grandma’s love-letters, and a locket with a picture of a ndsome officer in it. I can only view these things from a distance now, but mamma says the day I am eighteen the ureau and its contents shall belong to me, and then I shall earn the sad history of those letters, and why grandma died when only twenty-two, and on the second anniversary of her edding-day. 62 THE DIME DIALOGUES. “Something else I like to do is to answer all the letters 1 owe, and to write my composition for the next week, fot then that’s off my mind, and when the time comes I have il ready without being obliged to hurry through it. “‘ Besides, I have my scrap-book in which to paste all the scraps I have collected since the last rainy day. If I havé any odd sewing to do, or a piece of fancy work to finish, ke this time to do it in; then when the sunshine comes gain, my mind being free, I can enjoy it without thinking f tasks undone at home = “Then it is often real fun to sit at the window and watcl | the passers-by, seeing them hurrying along under their um]! brellas trying to gct as little wet as possible. Once in driving sturm I saw two men speeding along in opposi directions with their umbrellas pulled down so tight ovet their heads that it was impossible to see where they were going. As might have been expected they collided ani each umbrella got a hole punched through it. It made mé laugh to see how mad those two men looked, though I was]™ sorry their umbrellas were spoiled. z “T think, too, a rainy day is a good time to practice uP your neglected music, or to try your skill at painting, if yol are fond of it. Oh, there are so many pleasant ways f passing your time that the day is fairly over before yot realize it. There is no need of complaining about wha can’t be helped; and, indeed, I often wish there were mor@ rainy days than there are.” ; Exma. Bravo, May! If you go through life with as fir a determination to make the best of it, you will do well, an@ I fecl sure that you will make yourself and others happy by lsa course you have chosen. Now, Rose, for your side ¢ “e@ question, 7 Ross. I have taken just the opposite view, and I'@ afraid 1 have found rather too much fault. I never th wght of looking at it as Emma has, but then, I never did havé such a good disposition. Well, such as it is here goes (Reading.) 3 ‘Oh! how I detest rainy days! They are always sure tome just when least wanted, just at a time which you have set aside for a picnic, shopping, or some kind of ouf . A RAINY DAY. 62 floor fun. [ have never really anticipated any thing with ‘ll my heart that azn did not spoil it all; and then, it 19 80 eary—inexpressibly so to me. You have been, for in- Stance, counting on spending the day with aunt Rhoda and having cousin Jim take you for a ride inthe park. You lay awake half the night before, thinking of the fun you’ll have, | nd finally fall asleep only to be awakened, about five o’cloe ‘| the morning, by a gust of wind and ihe rattle of man tps against the window-pane. You rush to look at th #&y in the vain hope of seeing somewhere a little spot a. blue that will indicate a possible clearing, but alas! see noth- Jing bet heavy clouds in every direction settling down more nd more as you gaze on them. Not slowly, but very sure- ly the conviction settles on you that you are ‘ia fora day Of it’ and no amount of tears, or ill-humor, will alter the fase. There are, though, both tears and ill-humor as you Slowly dress and descend to the breakfast-table. Mamma 90ks up from her cups and saucers with pity written on her fice, and tells you how sorry she is for your disappoint. Ment, but she meets nothing but a frown and the cross an Swer that—‘‘ Pity isn’t going to stop its raining.” You }%on’t care about eating, and, to crown it all, brother Tom Siunters in, and seeing your glum face, begins to tease; Men you feel that your cup is overfull and you rush from the ‘ble, up-stairs to have a good cry. After that is over may- he you feel a little better; so you bathe your red eyes and a down to play over the new piece papa brought last Night. No sooner have you begun than, with a whoop and ’ yell, Tom bounces into the roor# and you realize that the )|"8in will keep 2#m at home all day too! and brothers ar 4 Nei torments, this one in particular! Seeing how utter. torn and desolate you look, perhaps he takes pity on yor id refrains from the teasing which you are confidently anu fespairingly awaiting, and, maybe, he even proposes a game t parlor croquet. With this and the bowling-alley the XOrning slowly drags away and lunch breaks the mono- ny. You dawdle over this as long as you consistently 4n, then take a nap, dress for the afternoon and try to set- le down to your fancy work. You find you ean’t settle, ugh, so go to the window, watch the steady pour, think r THE DIME DIALOGUES. of what you have missed, and before you s1e aware of it there is another pour from a different source, and you vaguely wonder where so many teurs can come from. vet” papa, coming home to an early dinner, and bringing a note from Jim saying that he will come for you some day next” week, affords but little consolation, for, how far off aext- week is! and, maybe, it will rain then, too! Altogether — you are thoroughly disgusted with yourself, the weathe? ind everything in general, and retire by eight o’clock with” the feeling that if there were very many raipy days in . out life it would be to much of a burden for one poor .ittle mortal like yourself to attempt to get along with,”. 4 Euma. Well, that ¢ a doleful- way of looking at it— | decidedly damp to say the least. Let us hope your aversion ] to rainy days is not contagious. 4 Ross. I-warned you what to expect! Let's hear your version, now. Just five minutes left, so: make the most of them. - j Emma. (Reads.) ‘‘‘Into all lives some rain must fall, Some days must be dark and dreary.’ “But, how differently different people look on rainy days! Indeed, there are a certain class who make rainy days tor themselves; who would even scarce be happy without them. — Their lines may be cast in easy places; they may have few misfortunes, no trouble at all compared with the majority; but their very prosperity makes them discontented; nothing” satisfies them; the slighest trifle forms a basis for a day’s grumbling; they are never happy and they think it a sil” for others to be so. In truth, they seem to have come inté— the world for the express purpose of making rainy days fot themselves and for those around them. 4 ‘‘Let us turn from these damp and lugubrious prc phets t& ‘weir next door neighbors. This family was once, not 80— long ago, a large and prosperous one. Reverses came} the father failed; every thing went wrong. Did they de spond? No! They sold house, furniture, horses, carriages, every vestige of their former prosperity, moved to a cottage in a manufacturing village, the father and sons took work in. a factory near by, and the daughters found time, besided their duties at home, to give afew music and drawing les A RAINY DAY, 65 ions. They were scarcely settled down to their new life, so fferent from the former, but made cheerful and happy by the way in which they entered upon it, when far heavier Mhisfortunes assailed them. The father caught a malignant fever and one month later this family of nine was reduced ‘to four. Those were rainy days truly. But, those remain- Ing did not despond; they took up their burden patiently ‘und now are living, doing what good they can, taking what little pleasure life holds for them gratefully, and such a con- ‘trast to their rich neighbors in the brown stone villa, next | door. ‘* Remember that life is mostly what we make it. It must of course have its rainy days; but make the most of them! emember that every cloud has its silver lining, every storm its close. If for a while all is dark for you, try to forget Your own suffering and pain in doing good to some one Maybe less fortunate than yourself. Feel that whatever és, for the best, and sooner or later you will come to realize at even rainy days have their mission, and that sunshine S sure to follow after them.” Rosz. It is as you said, Emma: our different composi- ons are characteristic of our different dispositions. Yours d May’s indicate the cheerful dispositions and the desire to ok on the brighter side of life and human nature. Hope nd cheerfulness are a part of your characters. As for me, I el rather ashamed of myself and my composition. - I wish + had time to write it over; it should be different, or I ould choose another subject. I shall ask Miss Burton to use me from reading it, and in the. future— Emma and May. Will try to overcome your prejudice to ainy Days. (Bell rings.) : Rose. Bell-call. It came just in time, girls, to applaud our sentiment, (Haeunt.) (Curtain falls.) THE DIME DIALOGUES. GOD IS LOVE. A FLOWER EXERCISE FOR SUNDAY-SCHOOL CONCERTS Have an arch erected on the platform. The size of the letters upoa arch will depend upon the size of your room. Let them be large eneug to be plainly seen by the whole audience. For your letters, taky Roman capitals in marking-stitch. These may be obtained of all worsted | — dealers, or your grandmother’s sampler will supply them. L, O and : vquire sixteen holes; V requires fourteen. After the holes are madé | rver the board with tissue paper; make dots over the holes, tdo smal . be seen by the audience. Make the bouquets round and flat, with | — rmly-wound stems, to fit easiky but strongly into the holes, ; The recitations should be given by sixteen girls. Let four girls stand in front of the arch and recite, in concert 3 - ) We bring bright flowers from forest and grove; They teach this lesson, that Gop 1s Love. j No. 1. ‘The wilderness and the solitary place shall he glad. The desert shall rejoice and blossom as the rose.” - Isa. xxxv. 1. UInserts four bouquets in L.) No 2. ‘It shall blossom abundantly and rejoice ever with joy and singing.”—Isa. xxxv. 4, (Inserts four bouquets.) No. 3. ‘The rain cometh down, and snow from Heaven, and returneth not thither, but watereth the earth, and maketh t to bring forth and bud.”—Isa. vi. 10. 3 Cnserts four bouquets.) No. 4. ‘Israel shall blossom and bud, and fill the face of the world with fruit.”—Isa. xxvii. 6. : (Inserts four bouquets.) Four sther girls go wp and recite, in concert : We bring fresh flowers from the dewy field, And Gop 1s Love is the truth they yield, No 5. ‘Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow y toil not, neither do they spin; and yet I say unto you, ‘that even Solomon, in all his glory, was not arrayed like on@ of these.”—Marv. vi. 29. CInserts four bouquets in O.) No. 6. ‘‘ My speech shall distill as the dew, as the small rain upon the tender herb, and as the showers upon thé grass.” —DervT. xxxii. 2. Cnserts four bouquets.) No. 7. ‘The grass withereth, the flower fadeth; but thé word of cur God shall endure forever.”—Isa. xi. 8. _ (Inserts four bexquets.) GOD I8 LOVE, 61 _ No.8 ‘He causeth the grass to grow fcr cattle and } herb for the service of man.”—Ps. crv. 14. : (Inserts four bouquets.) Four others recite, in concert : Sweet flowers from the gardens fair we bring, And Gop 1s Love is the song we sing. a No. 9. ‘*The Lord God planted a garden eastward in | @den; and out of the ground made the Lord to grow every th | ee that is pleasant to the sight.”—Gmn. ii. 8, 9. : : CInserts four bouquets.) No. 10. ‘‘ The flowers appear on the earth, the time of | the singing of birds is come.”—Canr. ii. 12. ' UInserts four bouquets.) No. it. “ The fig-tree putteth forth her green figs, and | the vines with the tender grapes give a good smell,”—Cant. ® ii. 13. (Inserts four bouquets.) — No. 12 ‘As the earth bringeth forth her bud, so the Lord God will cause righteousness and praise to spring forth.” @ —Isa. lxi. 11. (Inserts four bouquets.) 4 Four others recite in concert : We have flowers from the hills and the valleys low, And Gop 1s Love is the truth they show. | No. 13. “Tam the rose of Sharon and the lily of the | Yalleys.”—Canr. ‘ UInserts four bouquets.) — No. 14 “I will be as the dew unto Israel; he shall a frow as the lily, and cast forth his roots as Lebanon.” —Hos, | Xiv. 6. CInserts four bouquets.) Wo. 15. ‘His branch shall spread, and his beauty shall be as the olive-tree, and his smell as Lebanon.”—Hos, xiv. 6. (Inserts four bouquets.) ¥>. 16. ‘They that dwell under his shadow shall re _ in; they shall revive as the corn, and grow as the vine.” _ -fios. xiv. 7. Cnserts four bouquets. y . All, in concert, recite: : ‘‘Gop 1s Lovz.”—1 Joun iv. 8, - ‘Tn the name of our God will we set up our banners, = Ps, xx. 5. : “ And his banner over me was Lovg.—Cant. ii. 4 THE DIME DIALOGUES. THE WAY HE MANAGED. Characters :—Mr. Wiison, @ business gentleman. . Mrs, Woe | BON, Ais wife. Bivpy, an Trish servant girl. PowiceMan. Curtain rises, discovering Mrs. WiLson -lying on a sofa, “er head bound up, and a shawl thrown over her feet Mnles Mr..Wuuson, looking veved. He throws himself into a chair — “Mr. Witson. Why on earth isn’t tea ready, Mary? | Here I am, tired to death, and no supper, nor any signs of | it. When I don’t get home until six o’clock I should think — you might at least have supper ready within quarter of an j hour. Mrs. Witson. Don’t scold, dear; I’ve had such an aw- 7 ful headache all day long that I haven’t been able to see to — anything. I told Biddy to have some supper ready for you — when you came. 3 Mr. W. Why isn’t it ready then, I’d like to know? Mrs. W. Oh, dear! I don’t know. Mr. W. Well, now, see here, Mary; J know, and J’ll_ tell you what the matter is. You don’t manage your ser- | rants properly. If you'd manage them as I manage my — erks, youd have no trouble. Mrs. W. Do tell me how yow’d get along. Mr. W. If one of my clerks were to disobey an order, 1 guess he’d be dismissed, quickly enough. Mrs. W. It’s all well enough to talk, but if you had the — management of this house, I'd like to see how it would turn — out after a week or two. : ] Mr. W. If, as you say, J had the management, I'd get aory all right. Id give my orders for breakfast the night afore so that I would have no breakfast to think about until the next morning. Then, immediately after that meal was over, I’d give my orders for dinner and for the day — From the first I'd give the girl to understand that she must — obey or go, and I guess you'd find out soon enough that I could manage. -All this trouble about housekeeping in such a small house as this is simple nonsense Why, it ought to be nothing but play! Now look at that dirt on the floor THR WAY AK MANAGED. it I were in your place I'd have had Biddy sweep it 4p, long ago. Mrs. W. T wish you would try it for a while. J am perfectly used up and haven’t the nerve to stand giving Biddy sscolding. Begin now, won’t you, right away, and manage for a week? If you succeed better than I do, I'll give you } adiploma. Come vow! 4 Mr. W: Very wel', you shall see: how I'll manage E Rings bell, no answer. Pixs again wnd then again.) Wher 10 creation is that girl? _ Mrs. W. (Smiling.) She’s in the kitchen. - Mr. W. Then why on earth doesn’t she come? Mrs. W. You’d better ask Aer, I think. Ms. W. Well, I will ask her. (Goes to door and, calis,. Biddy! (After a moment, enter Brpvy.) Brippy. (Standing with arms akimbo, end leoking xornfully @reund.) Shure, an’ who’s afther callin’ me? — Mr. W. (With dignity.) I call you. Did you hear me ting? _ Brpy. I ¢14 that, sur, and wondered if ve’s found it so ‘Vurry amusin’. _ Mr. W. Trung for you. Why did you nut answer? Bippy. Sorra 4 bit thin, sur, did Y ivev hire out to run afther a bell. If ye’s wants the bell answered, ye'd betiher be kapin’ a second girl. (Beginning ‘0 go out of the door.) _ Mr, W. Come back, here, uv{il J have finished speaking to you. Bring the broom and sweep up that dirt on the 4 floor, then you may serve suype.. 4 Brwvy. (Hecitedly.) Did ge iver hear the likes o’ that, Now? ITs the man crazy to tiuk I'll be ordered around by ‘he likes o’ him? Niver a bit av it will I do until I’m towld s+ the missus hersel’? I didn’t come here to be ordered ‘round by a man, an’ I'll not stand it, ye may be shure (Goes out, slamming door.) Mrs. W. (Smiling.) What now, my dear? _ Mr. W. Oh, never fear! Vll manage her yet. I sup se I must be more decided (Great noise and confusion “(Calling.) Biddy! THE DIME DIALOGUES. (Enter Bropy with broad grin on her face.) Mr. W. (Severely.) What does this racket mean? q Brippy. Faix, an’ I was a-carryin’ av the salver full of dishes to set the table, whin me arrums giv’ way, an’ they, | the dishes, I mane, fill to the flure, an’ now there’s not wan — av them left whole. } Mr. W. The price of those dishes will come out of yo ages. Remember! Brmpy. ’Deed, an’ they won’t, sur! : Mr. W. (Calmly.) Indeed, and they will. But you msy — go and get the supper. ri Bippy. §’pose I may if I want to. (@oes out.) Mr. W. Well, did I ever! How can you tolerate such | impudence? You should have put a stop to that, the very | first day she came. Mrs. W. Why don’t you stop it now? Mr. W. You have let it go too far. I can do nothing je with her now, but to-morrow she shall leave, J Mrs. W. Oh, dear! To-morrow is ironing day, and I can never do it, [know. What shall Ido? You never can . get a servunt without some sauciness about her. a Mr. W. Can’t you? Well, PU get one then. To-mor- — row morning I shall go to the Intelligence Office and send | you up a girl of a different sort. Mrs. W._ I hope you will. / Mr. W. When will that girl have supper? I’m nearly starved. (Calls.) Biddy! : ; Bropy. (Entering, scowling.) Can ye niver leave me alone! — Ye’re callin’ afther me ivery, blissed minit, and I won’t stand Mr W_ I guess you won’t. To-morrow you'll leave — {ut now I want my supper, do you understand? You ma, — five Mrs. Wilson some tea, but J will have some coffee Aurry now! Biwpy, Is it tay and coffee both ye’re wanting? Mr. W I believe I said so. 2 Bropy. Well, thin, ye won’t get it, that’s all I’ve got to say. I've worked out for twinty odd years and niver yit did 1 make tay and coffee both, at wan meal, and I'll not d it now. I’m too old to learn new tricks. 4 THE WAY HE MANAGED. % Mr. W. I said that I weuld bave some coffee, and Mrs. ilson some tea. So set abont your work at once. Biopy. Bedad an’ [ll not/ Tl git supper whin I plaze ‘fv’ not before. An’ if ye don’t drink what she does, thin ‘Ye can go widout anything. Mr. W. Obey my orders at once. } Bivvy. It’s no orders I'll be takin’ from you. (Throws ‘Wsheloth, which she has over her arm, at him. He picks it u | 4nd flings it back at her, wherewpon sie puts her apron to Ne *ye, and rushes out of the door.) _ Mr. W. Wonder what she’s up to now? _ Mrs. W. How nicely you manage, dear! re enter BIDDY with POLICEMAN, who steps forward and lays his r hand on Mr. Wiison’s shoulder.) Mr. W. What does this mean? Poxrceman. [am here on the call of Bridget Malony, to } arrest you for assault and battery. = Mr W. But— Poritceman. No words, I say! Come along. (Hit Po. ‘Wceman and Mr. W., Mr. W. saying “‘ Next time PU know ugh to let wife manage her own servants.” Brppy follows, inning and showing unmistakable signs of joy. Mrs. W. sits : Mrs. W. Oh, dear, what a muss of it these men do make ‘When they interfere in household affairs. Badly as we ‘ometimes manage affairs they make confusion worse con- founded when their superior wisdom, and decision, and ‘Power to manage are brought to bear. But, what shall J do now? Go to police court and testify that my Lusbaud id not assault or batter Bridget. That will effect his re tease but it won’t regtore his good temper, I fear (Rises Well, it is provoking enough, to be sure, but after all it i- ‘Comical comment on men’s conceit. I'll guarantee Ceorge, ter this, will not try to manage for the house. (au. (Ourtain fais.) THE DIME DIALOGUES. AN ACTING CHARADE. FANDANGO. (Characters :-—Mn. JAN. Devit, an old gentleman who finds difficulty in keeping servants. Mrs. Fanny Devyit, his wfe. Sam, Bonus, Dan, three negroes, in search of situations. Miss Emma McKuaty, a neighbor lady.) {Hints to players. Mr. Jan Devit should be dressed in breakfast gown id slippers when first seen and in plain black suit after that. Mrs jan Devit should be dressed plain but neat. Sam and Bones dressed in pld ragged clothes, Sam with one sloe and one boot, Bones with one shoe and one slipper, half-sleeveless coat, ete. Dan poor but neat, Miss Emma McKealy, in shopping dress.] Acr L—Fan. Mr. Jan Devirr. (Hnters.) Just my luck; I no more than get a good servant until some unlooked-for event tran- spires and he leaves. Only this morning Pete, whom I have — had with me but a week, received a letter bidding him has- ten to the death-bed of his aunt, and there is no prospect of my ever secing him again; so I must now go to the trouble of procuring another one; but how, or where? Mrs. Jan. Devit. (Hntering.) Why, what is the trow ble? You surely are not worrying yourself about Pete leav ing us, this morning? Mr. J. That is precisely the trouble. Mrs. J. You can get another as good as he was, possibly better yourself. Mr. J. I am not so sure of that, for, to get a negro that fan read write and figure is not such an easy matter, and | that is the kind I must have. Mrs. J. You can advertise, as you,did for Pete, can yor ot? . Mr. J. There is no doubt of that, but will it pay? Be sides, remember the trouble I had in examining the thousand and one applicants, though how they found out I wanted a servant is a mystery to me, for one half of them could not — “even read. Mrs. 8. (Laughing.) Well, I do remember, and if you have as much fun this time I shall want to be in to enjoy — the reception. . AN ACTING CHARADE. %% Mr. J. T hope you do not call that fun/ If so, save me from fyn. But, I will try it again, and now wait until I write the advertisement, Fan, as | wish your suggestions. (Seats and writes.) Mn. J. (Rising.) Now, Fan, listen: ‘‘ Wanted, a good male negro servant; one who can read, write and figure. Apply at No. 3333 Hast 32d strect.” How will that do? Mrs. J. It is brief but to the point. - Mr. J. Then Ill take it to the printers. Mrs. J. And I will prepare to have the house invade. by an army of davkies. Feeunt.) Acr II.—Dan Mr. J. Ihave inserted the advertiseinent and now ex- pect that I will have plenty.of applicants; in other words, the show is open. I have only one wish and that is, that the first one may suit so that [can close the door at once. (Voices outside, ‘‘ Hold on dav!” ‘‘1’s de fust!”’ ‘* You go way,” ete.) Ah, here they come. (Zinter Sam and Bonss.) j Sam. How ye do, Boss! I’s de nigga you wants for dat posish. Bones, heah, is a good nigga at meal time, but he don’t ’mount to nuffin’ ‘on rithmeric and— Bones. Don’t b’lieve him, Boss! I’s de best edukated nigger in de city, I is, an’ I’s come all de way from a fust- class hotel on Broadway, to preserve yon, and ’s— Sam.. Shut up, Bones! You meaus dat you come from de police-station, you good-for nuffin’ nigga, and— Mr. J. Come, quit your bickering and seat yourselves, asd I will soon ascertain whether either of you will do or not. Sam. Yes, I s’pe*ts dis chile is jus’ dat. Bones. Dat am de ticket, Boss. Z'%ey wt.) T's your tuckleberry! Mr. J. Now, Sam, how much is three and three? Sam. Three and three what? ; Bones. Oh, I knows dat, Boss! It am ‘leven. _ Mr. J. Bones, be quiet. Now, Sam, how many are _ three and three apples? Sam. Tse shuah dey don’t make a peck. 74 THE DIME DIALOGUES, Mr. J. That will do, Sam; you can go Sam. An’ I won’t do even if I prove dat I was Gvorge Washington’s servant? Mr. J. Not even if you proved that you are Bonaparte Bones. Dat’s me, Boss! I’s Boneparte! Bam. (Going.) Fa’well, Boss! but you'll be sorry. (Hatt. Mr. J. ~Now, Bones, have you ever studied arithmetic? Boyes. Shuah, Boss! Ihas gon’ cleah over it. (Aside.’ t means dat I laid it down an’ rolled ober it, when I slept jn de flo’. Mn. J. Well, Bones, if you had three cents and I was— Bones. I hasent got dat much money, Boss. Mr. J. I was just supposing that you had, and if I was to give you ten cents taore how much would have have? Bones. Golly, Boss, dat am_ more money den dis darkie eber seen, since he was an orphan widout a mother-in-law Mr. J. Can you spell house? Bones. Wi'at kind ob a house, brick or boardin’-house? Mr. J. Any kind But never mind. I will give you © one more trial. Can you read? Bones. I reads the bestis w’en de candle is lit. Mr. J. (Handing paper.) Read that. _ Bones, Out loud? Mr. J. Certainly. Bones. I’s ’fraid [ll distu’b youah meditateshuns, | Mr. J Not a bit. Bones. Boss, I’s perfectly willin’, but I don’t feel well, dat’s de trufe. Mr. J. You can go, Bones. Bones. And you denies Bonaparte, do youah? Mr. J. Yes; skip, climb, get.. (Jumps up. Bones ert ' 4 (Enter Dan.) Dan. Good- -morning, Boss! Is you de fellah w’at wants — a darkey? 3 Mr. J. Yes, and if you'll answer to my satisfaction thre@ 7 questions 71] try you, for I am sick of this. 4 Dan. Proceed, Boss; dis nigga’s jes’ waitin’ fer de wink Mrs. . How: much are four times. twenty, plus twenty minus ten divided by three? Dan. Thirty S AN ACTING CHARADE. Mr. § Spell Euphrates. Dan. E-u-p-h-r-a-t-c-s, Mr. J. Read that. (Handing paper.) Dan. (leads.) ‘‘The animals of the world are many ane varied, noted for their strengh, beauty and usefulness.” Mr. J. What is your name? Dan. Daniel, but Dan for short. Mr. J. Well, Dan, I will keep you, and the first daty | ‘ .ot you to perform is to stand on the steps and kick Wack vbviy darkey that tries to come up them. Dan. Yes, massa. J)at’s jes’ in my line, as my naine is Dan. (Heit.; Mr. J. He'll do. I think Dan is a go! Act IJl.—Go. (Enter, Mr. and Mrs, JAN Devtt.) Mrs. J. Andso youdid getaservant, didn’t you, by you: advertising? ; Mr. J. Yes, it did very well, and I flatter myself that } have him as well trained as Pete was. Mrs. J. There is, then, some virtue in advertising. after all’ Mr. J. It seems so. (Bell rings, and Miss Emma Mc KaLy 7s ushered in.) Mrs. J. (Advancing.) Why, good-morning, Emma! J] was not expecting you over, so soon. . Emma. (Bowing to Mr. J.) I would not have come so soon but I have an invitation out this afternoon, and so thought we had better go to Broadway this forenoon. Can you go now? Mrs. J. If Mr. Jan Devit can spare me. Mr, J. I have no objections; go if yon wish to. Mrs. J. Very well; come, Emma. (Heeunt.) Dan, (Hntering.) Do you want me to order dose things! Mr. J. Yes, do you remember what they are? Dan. Beefsteak, potatoes, bread, an’--aa’— Mr. J And cabbage. Dan. Dat’s it, cabbage w’at you call a flower. Mr. J. You'll not forget? Yan No, Boss. I'll get dem all, you can bet; no dan ger dis darkey forgettin’ anything dat’s good toeat. Nosa Sa IT 7 THE DIME DIALOGUES. | Mr. J. Be back as soon as you can. Dan. Tl do dat, Boss. (Hait.) Mr. J Aad now I will go to the library and finish my reading, while Fan and Dan both go off. Act IV.—FanpDANa@o. (DAN, entering.) Mr. J. Well, Dan, what do you want? Anything I do for you? Dan. Snuah, massa, I wants a leaf ob permission Mr. J. You mean leave of absence. Dan. Yes, massa. Dat’s de ab-sense ob it. Mr. J. How leng a time do you want to be gone? Dan. To-night only, massa. Mr. J. What are you going to do? Dan. Well, massa, der am going to be a Fandango at Julia Jones’s house, an’ I am expected to bring Sallie Joker dat fer de fust salutation. ; Max. J. You can go. Dan. Yes, massa. (Waits as if expecting something.) Mr. J. What are you waiting for? Dan. Shuah, massa, it’s gwine to cost money to go to dat fandango, and dis darkey hasn’t got nuff money to buy his gal a glass of soda water. Mr. J. Ha, ha! True enough! Well, here; take that. (Giving money.) Dan. Thank you, massa; and now I'll go. * (Sings.) For w’at’s de use ob bein’ slow W’en de gal is at de do’ * Waitin’ for de Fandango! (Hivit, kicking up his heels.) Mr. J. I will now apologize to the audience, if such apology is ueeded, for keeping you so long listening to our con versations. Hoping you have enjoyed yourselves, Ithank you — tor your attention. (Hnter Bones, Sam and Dan, who mové fo Mr J.’s left, and Mrs. J., Miss E. M., who move to Mr. J ‘8 right) As do, I am sure, all of the actors in Fandango! (All bow as ewrtain falls ) Mamin Mamie. Docron. Mamiz, Bocror. THE LITTLE DOCTOR. THE LITTLE DOCTOR. FOR TWO TINY GIRLS. (With dol.) My doll is very, very ill! [’m almost sure she’s had a chill! Pray, docior, tell me what to give ’et— What's good for spasm of the liver? For spasm of the liver we Give pills of coriander tea; But, then, perhaps the child has had Carotid cramps;—they’re very bad! I’m certain she is cutting teeth. Got two above and two beneath. For that blue-mass will better do;— A spoonful every hour or two, Some ipecac an’ poppy pills, With plenty of the syrup-squills Applied along your infunt’s spine, - With poultices from eight to nine; But, doctor, she has had such fits From being bitten wy a Spitz. For fits, give catnip drafts, at once— ’*Bout one a minute, little dunce! A bath, I’m sure, will do her good. Then give her one right off—I would. A mustard poultice on her eye;— Don’t mind it though it makes her ery It’s colic, doctor, makes her squall — Net hy-dra-phobi-a at all! She’s colic of the lungs, ?’'m sure, Pray, what will such a sickness cure? For colic of the lungs?—ah, me! I'm ’fraid that that ll fatal be: Still, you might try some sweetened water If that don’t help her, why, it ought’r THE DIME& DIALOGUES, Jt "pears to me I’ve heard it said That dollies ’ca-sion-ally went dead From the hysterics; maybe you Will call it ticket-dollar-oo. I guess it 7s, now, come to think. For that we give three drops of ink From papa’s inkstand—I must go;— Poor Mrs. Fall is very low. Well, call again to-morrow, soon; ~ It may be small-pox before noon. Or colly wobbus of the brain. Poor child! she seems to be in pain, I’ve sixty pay-shuns I must visit, But, I will call an’ see what is it. Good-afternoon, and—ah!—I’ve got it!— : The vaccination—she has caught it! (Heuns.} A SWEET REVENGE. FOR FOUR BOYS. (A village road, ARCHER, BENJAMIN and CHARLES, discovered. ; Arcuer. Well, he is an old hunks, and that’s just what he is, Old folks are always fretful and fussy and they al- ways seem to think that we boys have no business in this world, and I don’t know but they wish we were wel! out of \t. : BreNgAMIN. Isn’t he mean and stingy, though? T woul :. like to board at his house, for he might feed me on raw fast and shavings, CuartEs, He wasn’t using his boat himself: he hadn’t promised it to anybody, and yet he was mean enough to re fuse to lend it to us. He did growl out the word ‘‘ NO,” { tell you, when I asked him if we might use the boat. A, And why did he refuse? Just from mere selfishness. { hope I sha’n’t live to be so old if I have to be so cross and cranky. A SWEET REVENGE. i) B. Nor I. I semetimes think that these cross and erabbed men never had any boyhood; or, if they had, it was so many years away back they have forgotten all abuut it. C. Well, somebody ought to tell them. I think we are very much abused and put upon just becanse we are boys, The women are clamoring for ‘‘ woman’s rights;” the men, *-» “ men’s rights;” why shouldn’t we clamor for “ pas’ lis,’ and see that we get them A. That’s so! We must begin at once, B. What is the plan? Cc. Thave thought of a good one—Revenge! A We might loosen his pig. B. Or drive his cows miles away from home C. Or pull the linch-pin out of his wagon. A. ‘Throw dirt in his well. B. Chalk all ever his newly painted fence. Cc. Or we might even go so far as to call him ovt some dark night and make him believe we were ghosts o¢ 1obbers. That would give him one good scare he would no’ torget in a hurry. : A. We may be ‘ only boys,” but IT guess w+ can plan mischief as well as old folks, The old hunks aeprived us of our pleasure; why should we not deprive him of his? B. That seems to be a first-rate idea, and 1 go in for it. C. And I, too. A. Then we will borrow some sheets, and when the midnight hour comes, we will go to the ala hunks’s house and tell him that the grave is waiting for him. Then we ean drag him along and give him a good ducking in the b-rse-pond. (Enter Davin.) Davip. Hallo, boys! What mischief’s afoot? Thre« uvads close together means that something is going on, Wha is the plot? Is it another gunpowder one? Who is to be blown up? A. We are meditating revenge! B. We are going to teach a man his duty, C. We will show the wronger, we are not to be trampled upon. . D. (Whistling.) Phew! Preserve meinalcohol! What & THE DIM DIALOGUES. dn ; tidings! Another strike in prospective? Who is to ha-é the benefit of your revenge? Who is to be taught his duvy? That old hunks of Gilbert Coleman. And the cause? tle would not let us have the use of his boat to sail Oh: I heard all about that. He told me that he wa get willing to lend it because it leaked, Cc. He might have told us so avd not snapped out the word ‘‘ No” : J). Are you sure that he did so? Might you not have finsgined that? Cc. I don’t see how I covld D. We can easily imagive just such things if we have a mind to. But what was to be the plun of campaign? How was your revenge to be carried out? B. You'll go an/ tell. D. Not I, indeed! © Perhaps [ can devise a better one A. Well, we were going there to-night, disguised as elosts, tell him the grave was waiting for him, drag him to the horse-pond and duck him in, D lam sorry to hear all this. _ Now, boys, I have a iuttle bit of news to tell you, as you do not appear to have aeard it. A> -Go*on.. -What-is it? D. This afternoon, as Mr. Coleman was trimming his irees, he was seized with a fit of vertigo and fell from his tadder. He broke one of his legs. The dvetor says it will be weeks, maybe months, ere he will be able to go about his work again. Now, boys, this is the time to act lis? men snd throw such heathenish notions as revenge away and ‘3 vherisn the noble and more Christian-like thought of aiding, helping and benefiting one who is almost helpless. A. Your advice is always good, David. Let us have so savagely. it D. Will you act upon it and follow it if T will give you my help? B. Certainly, if it is not too hard. D. You will find it to be both easy and pleasant. It is 4 A MAYDAY. — § as follows. Let us each and all do our share of the work on Mr. Coleman’s farm, and thus show him that we believe in that beautiful rule—the Golden one—and are willing and anxious to carry out its precepts. If you think tkat re- venge is sweet you will find that charity is sweeter. It is oetter to be commended for doing good than condemned for Joing wrong. Isn’t that so, boys A. Right indeed. B. True as preaching. C. Good and needed advice. D. Then let us heed it at once. We shall find plenty to do, we will do it with a will, and a good will, and ses _ Which ean accomplish the most ‘ Now’s the time and _ how’s the hour.” We will sway at once and let our motte _ be “ Semper paratus,” OrHER Boys. ‘ Alwags ready.” (Haeunt A MAYDAY FOR THREE VERY LITTLE @ RL& Oh, who will go a Maying, This beautiful, bright day * Come, come! leave off your plar'ty And in the meadows stray. HARLOTTE. Yes, we will go together To look for woodland flowera I love the warm May weather, The sunshine and the showers T love the starry daisies, The violets in their n eks, The anemone that raisey Its face by meadow-wrooka THE DIME DIALOGUES. I Jove the silver river, That, rippling through the grea Flows on and on forever Yet never seems to pass. Onan.otrs. I love the robins, dearly; The fairy fish that hide; The great white clouds that nearly Touch heaven as they glide. T love the wind that kisses My forehead, as I fly; And stirs, with sweet caresses, The green leaves swinging high. Kind was our Heavenly Father To make the world so bright; So full of flowers and sunshine, Of perfume, song and light. Cuar.orrs. Yes, and we should be grateful, e And sweet as violets are, Nor e’er, with tempers hateful Our better natures mar. For He has given us treasures Of earth and air and sky; And we for all our pleasures Should thank Him reverently Ase Dear Father! that our spirite Be like the flowers in May, As modest, sweet and lowly, Thy little children pray. FROM THE SUBLIME TO THE RIDICULOUS, FROM THE SUBLIME TO THE RIDICULOUS. FOR FOURTEEN YOUNG MEN. Characters :—Port, Artist, Puysicran, ENromo.oaist, Op NOTHOLOGIST, MATHEMATICIAN, BOTANIST, METEOROLOGIST, Grotoaisr, AS'RONOMER, PxHILasopuER, Divine, Srares MAN, FARMER. } Scxnn.—A fidld with a few rocks, placed some distance apart, % F trregulur tntervals. There must be some plants in blossom for the botanist, and, at another part of the stage, some medicinal herbs growing, for the physician. There must, also, be a bush with stuffed birds, some artificial butterflies, chrysalides, etc. , ete Each one enters in turn, soliloquizing, apparently unconscious of the presence of any one else. Having finished his speech, ha continues to busy himself in his chosen occupation. Port. Oh, Nature, thou art beautiful And wonderful and grand! * I love to walk abroad and view The glories of the land. To gaze upon thy valleys green, Thy mountains, steep and high, That to my chilhood fancy seemed The stairway to the sky. Artist. (With camp-stool and materials for drawing.) © A glorious landscape this! With Fame’s illustrious poet I ex claim, ‘‘ Blest be the art that can immortalize!”?” I will transfer to canvas this transplendent scene, that it may shed its mellow light upon my studio walls, in that lone attic where, nibbling a crust, I feed on richer fare than choices viands, tempting to the taste. They perish with the Tin | but these sumptuous banquets of the soul endure and gain © a sweeter flavor from the touch of time. (Seais himself’ om his stool and commences sketching.) ; _ Prysroran. Oh, Ausculapius! I have found the hert sent for the healing of the nations! Tl gather all—more | _ precious, far, than gold, since it will bring what gold can never buy—health to the invalid and hope to the despairing, 84 THE DIMR DIALOGUES —a sovereign cure for earthly ills. The fame thereof shah place me high in my profession and my coffers fill with that which seldom proves unwelcome gain. Enromowoaist. (With tin box under his arm.) . T purpose now to make this study of the insect world my specialty Zoology is too extensive, in its broadest range, for finite minds to compass. I choose to gain perfection in a lesset there. This field is swarming with rare specimens of Le yidnptera, Ak' here’s a chrysalis—and here’s another! _ Pil take them to my cabinet and watch the progress of devel- opment. (Puts them in his box and strays around hunting fer more.) OrnitrnoLoetst, Since Audubon gained everlasting honors in his chosen field, I'll follow as a gleaner; for I’ve a special liking for this study of the birds. I cannot be mistaken— something stirs the bush on yonder knoll—just where my nets are spread. Tl go and see if any luckless tenant of the air is there entrapped. (Goes to the bush and takes off a couple of birds.) Ah, ha! hatched. Four ladies and a boy. All is fairia love and war. 3 ladies, 2 gentlemen. ~ How uncle Josh got rid of the legacy. ‘Two males, with several transformations, GUES No, 26, Poor cousins. Three ladies and two gentlemen. |The lesson of mercy. Two very small girls, ‘ountainsand mole-hills, Six ludies and several Pract Politi » what you preach. Four ladies. Numerous characters. ing agent. Two males and twe wo males A slight scare. Thr Embodied sunshine. How Jim Peters died. females and one male, nree young ladies, ‘Two males. _ DIME DIALOGUES No. 27. _ Patsey O’Dowd’s campaign. For three males and one female, Hasty inferences not always just. boys. Discontented Annie. For several girls. A double surprise. Four males and one femule. What was it? For five ladies, What will cure them! For a Jady and two boys. Independent. For numerous characters. “| Each season the best. For four boys. Tried and found wanting. For several males. A boy’s plot. For several characters. Numerous A test that told. gentlemen. Organizing «debating society. For four boys.. The awakening. For four little giris. The rebuke proper. For. 3 gentlemen, 2 ladies, Exorcising an eyil spirit. For six Jadies. Hoth sides of the fence. For four males. ‘The spirits of the wood, For two troupes of girls. For six young tadies and two DIME DIALO Whowhall have the dictionary? For six typical male characters and two females. The test of bravery. For four boys and teacher. Fortune’s wheel. For four male characters. The little esthetes. For six little girls. |>. The yes and no of smoke. For three little boys. No references. Six gentlemen and three lac ‘4 ‘An amazing good boy. One male, one female. | What a visitation did. For several ladies. Invisible heroes. For five young ‘ladies. A “colored” lecture. For four males. Wishes. For five little boys. Look at home. For three little girls, Fisherman’s luck, For two males and three females. Why he didn’t hire him. acters.” A fortunate mistuke. For six young ladies, one z For several “ char- The street girl’s good angel. For two ladies and two little girls. “That ungrateful little nigger.”” For two males. {I had the money. For three little girls. Appearances are deceitful. For several ladies and one gentleman, Love’s protest. For two little girls. An enforced cure. For several characters, Those who preach and those who perform, For three males. A gentle conquest. For two young girls. DIME DIALOGUES No, 28, No room for the drone, For three little boys. Arm-chair. For numerous characters, Measure for meusure. For four girls. Saved by a dream. For two males and tw& females. An infallible sign. For four boys. A good use for money. For six little girls. An agreeable profession. For several characters, GUES No, 29, For four little boys. For four males, two females, The sweetest thought. For four little girls, The inhuman monster, 6 ladies, 1 gentleman, Three little fools, For four smal! boys. Beware of the dog! For three ladies and three “ dodgers,” ' Joe Hunt’s bunt. For two boys and two girls, Rags. For six males, Simple Simon. The red light. a DIME DIALOGUES No. 30, Cat and dog. For two little ones. The wsthete cured. For 2 ladies and 3 gentlemen Jim Broderick’s lesson. For two boys. The other side of the story. For five females. The test that told. For five males. Wooing by proxy. For three gentlemen and two ladies. Learning from evil. The teacher’s ruse, For five boys. For ten boys and three little girl and a boy. An alphabetical menagerie. For whole school. ‘The higher education. For eight boys. The vicissitudes of a milliner. Wor six females. address, on receipt of price, 10,cents each. girls, Colloquy of nations. For eleven personators, Additional personations for ‘ Goddess of Liberty,” °A scenic piece in Dialogues No, 24, £3" The above books are sold by Newsdealers everywhere, or will be sent, post-paid, to any E BEADLE AND ADAMS, Publishers, 98 William St,, N, ¥, opermesioe SS eee i ! i 4 April 15th, 1861, STANDARD DIME SPEAKERS-—50 to 80 Pieces in Each Volume DIME AMERICAN SPEAKER, No. 1. Young America, Birthday of Washington} A. Ward’s oration, Plea for the Maine law, l'rue nationality Not on the battlefield, !Our natal day, The Italian straygle, Solfer Independence, ; Our country, the war, he equality of man, | Charge of | Character of the Revo’n| Atter the buitle, The fraits of the war, The glass railroad, The sewing-machine, |Vase ol Mr. Macbeth, ‘True manhood, | Prof, on phrenology, The mystery of life, [ashi Lee, The ups an downs, Washington’s name, The truly great, Tue sador boy’s syren, DIME NATIONAL Union and its results, |Tecu:nseh’s speech, Our country’s future, | Territorial expausion, The statesman’s labors,| Martha penance True immortality, The bashful man’s stor Let the childless weep, |The matter-of-fact man, Our country’s glory, Union a household, Independence bell, The scholar’s dignity, The cycles of progress, A Christmas chant, Stability of Christianity, | Three fools, The true higher law, Washington, The one great need, Our great inheritance, The ship and the bird, Rich and poor, Seeing the eclipse, Beauties of the law, Ge-lang! git up, The rats of life, America to the world, |The Irish element, Lave of country, Train’s speech, Tight of self-preserva-|Christy’s speech, Our cause, [tion,} Let me alone, A, Kaatuekian’s appeal, | Brigand-fer General, Kentucky steadfast, The draft, ‘Timidity is treason, Union Square speeches, ‘Thealarum, The Union, Our country’s call, The spirit of ’61, The precious heritage, |L-e-g on my leg, Klebcyergoss on the war’ Sue, Age bluntly considered,| A Texan Eulogium, Barly rising, How to be a fireman, The wasp and the bee, |The United States, Comic Grammar, No. 1.| Puff’s acc’t of himself, I’m nota single man, {Practical phrenology, A, Ward’s advice, Beautiful, Buzfuz on Pickwick, Cabbage, ; Romeo and Juliet, Disagreeable Peres Happiness, What is a bachelor like? Dogs, Funny folks, lutelligence the basis of Creowning glory of U.S. Eulogy on Henry Clay, DIME PATRIOTIC The story of an oak tree, Early retiriug and ris’g,|J. Jeboom’s oration, A Dutch cure, The weather, I'Phe heated term, | Philosop'iy applied, |At old ballads | Pe iny wise, pound fool- eanliness, — [ish, night’s enjoy’ts, “Tn a just cause,” No peace with oppres- sion, A tale of a mouse, A thanksgiving sermon, Lhe cost of riches, SPEAKER, No. Ohio, Oliver Hazard Perry, Our domain, Systems of belief, |The Indian chief, The independent farmer Mrs. Grammar’s ball, How the mon Fatare of t! Loyalty to liberty, Our country first, last, and always, British influ Detense of Jackson, National hatreds, SPEAKER, No, History of our flag, 'T. F. Meaher’s adress, Woe owe to the Union, Last speech of Stephen A. Douglas, Lincoln’s message, Great Bell Roland, , The New Year and the King Cotton, [Uaion, Battle anthem, The ends of peace, ‘ DIME COMIC SPEAKER, No. 4. A song of woe, Ward’s trip to Richm’d, Parody, The mountebank, Compound interest, A sermon on the fevt,- Old dog Jock, The fishes? toilet, Brian O’Linn, Crockett to office-seckers Great lives imperishabl The prophecy f ufinished problems, Honor to the dead, ortality of ps Tint Webster’s polit’l systeum — A vision in the forun, The press, Woman’s rights, Right of the Governed, My ladder, Woman, Alone, The rebellion of 1861, Visunion, 2. Murder will ont, Strive for the best, Early rising, Deeds of kindness, Gates of sleep, The bugle, A Hoodish gem, Purity of the struggle, | Old age, Beautiful and true, ‘The worm of the still, Man and the Infinite, Language of the Eagle, Washington, The Deluge. 3. Freedom the watchword Crisis of our 1 5 Turkey Dan’s oration, A fearless plea, The onus of slavery, A foreigner’s tribute, ‘The little Zouave, Catholic cathedral, The “ Speculatora,’? Political stump speech, Comic Grammar, No. 2% Farewell to the bottle, ‘The cork leg, The smack i1 school, Slick’s definition of wifeg Tale of a hat, The debating club, A Dutch sermon, Lecture on locomotion, Who is my opponent? DIME ELOCUTIONIST, No, 5. SEC. I. Prixcrpres op Truk Enuncrarion. —Faults in enunciation ; how to avoid them. Special rules and observations, E Tue Arr or Oratory.—Sheridan’s Mrs.Caudle on Umbr’ila SEC. II. Tur Component ELemMnnts oF AN Oratton.—Rules of Composition as applied to Words and Phrases, via.: Purity, Proprtiaty, List of the Passions. ness,Mirth,Raillery, Buffoonery, Joy, Delight, Gravity, Inquiry, Attention, Modesty, Per- lexity, Pity, Grief, Fear, $h % ‘ reeing, spect, Giving, Wonder, riosity, Persuasion, 7 Affactation, Sloth, Intaxication, Anger, etc, ame, Remorse, Courage, Boasting, Pride, Obstinacy, Authority, Beceiedtingy A amie, Denying, Difference, ‘horting, Judging, Approving, Ac- uitting, Condemning, Teaching, Pardoning, uing, Dismissing, Refusing, Granting, De- pendence, Veneration, Hope Desire, Love, Re- Tranquillity, Cheerful- Melancholy, Despair, lommanding, Ai re anan canbe: Tempting, Promising, Precision. As applied to Sentences, viz. = Length of Sentence,Clearness, Unity,Strength. Figures of Speech ; the Exordiu:n, the Narra— tion, the Proposition, the Confirmation, the Refutation, the Peroration. SEC. IV. Representative Exercises tn PRose anp Versx.—Transition; A Plea for the Oxs Falstaff’s Soliloquy on Honor; the Burial of Lincoln ; the Call and Respunse ; the Bayonet Charge; History of a Life; the Bugle; the Bells; Byron; Macbeth and the Daggers Hamlet’s Soliloquy ; Old Things ; Look Up- ward; King William Rufus; the Eye; an Essa ont» Musik; Discoveries of Galileo. SEC, V, Ossenyations oF Goop AyTHORITIES 3 het bet in bt hy ed be et be 5 ‘ ’ r Courting, Higher, _ The closing year, The maniac’s defense, The hen scratches, Ags and the vivlinist, Views of married life, Bachelors and flirts, Job’s turkey, * A hardshell sermon, My first knife, Der Loddery Dicket, A canni-ballad, Woman’s rights, What’: tho matter, Mrs. Jones’ pirate, De goose, Touch of the sublime, Blooded Van Snoozle, Blast against tobacco, Tobacco boys, Big geniuses, My first cigar, Terrible t’-tale, Silver wedding, Prohebishon, Dime School Serics«-Speakers. DIME LUDICROUS SPEAKER, No, 14, Unlucky, Queer people, iting one’s nose off, Golden rules, The singular man, Fourth of July oration, Cheer up, Self-esteem, Buckwheat eakes, Twain’s little boy, A word with you, A chemical lament, The candy-pulling, ation Contentment, lon courting, jOn laughing, The tanner boy, On wimmen’s rights, |The healer, The criminal lawyer, Ballad of Matilda Jane, ater, The ballad of a baker, Good for something, A moving sermon. KARL PRETZEL’S KOMIKAL SPEAKER, No. 165, Schandal, Don’d been afraid, Gamboling, Indemberance, Gretchen und me go oud Hope. Das ish vat itish, “ Dot musquiter,” Leedle gal-child’sdream| Dhere vas no crying, Leedle speedches, Pells, pells, The puzzled Dutchman, DIME YOUTH’S STEAKER, No. 16, A call to the field, Address to a school, His sphere, Man. Bu’st. A lecture, A “ dialeet,”” Natural history views, To see ourselves, The evil beast, He To retailers, |Help, War, war to the death, | Adjuration toduty, | ‘The crusader’s appeal, A boy’s testimony, Pp. The hardest lot of all, The curse of rum, The two dogs—a fable, ‘The source of reform, i have drank my last, {the rum fiend, The spirit-siren, Rum’s maniac, Life is what we make it, Taate not, True law and false, Hn bad company, ‘The only true nobility, (The inebriate’s end, |Sorrowful tale, he loafers’ society, Translations from Esop. | It’s the early bird, etc., The treachery of Jones, Music, — Don’t call a man a liar, |On lager beer, — Caudle’s wedding-day, Dot young viddow, Simon Short’s son Sam, |The best cow in peril, Reckermember der poor, Frequent critters, In for the railroad, The cart before the horse |Song of the sink, (Case of young Bangs, A drunken soliloquy, The work to do, To labor is to pray, The successful life, Better than gold, Seed-time and harvest, Invoeation to cold water The great lesson to learn The t ace Jament, God’s liquor, The Illinois Assembly, The: cannibal man, Boss Bagshaw, Pretzel as a soldier, 'The raccoon, My childhood, Schneider’s ride, Boy suffrage, Gardening, He vas dhinkin’, Abner Jones’ testimony, By amoney changer’s. , Value of life work, “ Accept the situation,” Died of whisky, A story with a moral, Breakers ahead, Ichabod Sly, Effects of intemperance, The whisky why is it, Local option. Be good to the body, Worth makes the man, THE DIME ELOQUENT SPEAKER, No. 17, An adjuration, The kings of business, _ Purity of speech, Parson Caldwell, Value of reputation, Hand that rocks world, Swelling manhood, Summer, _ Woman’s love, The bricklayers, Words of silver, Drive on! drive on! ‘The tramp, ‘The State immortal, The moral factor, The only safety, Knowledge, A true friend, The mocking-bird, The value of virtue, Evils of ignorance, The use of time, [Come dowu, | Anatomical lecture, Walking with the world Minnetunkee, The printing press, The Sabbathy Be careful what you say | Busybodies, Stand by the constit’n, | Anatomical lecture 2, A blow in the dark, The specter caravan, The want of the country The true saviors, True fame, She would be a mason, |Something to shun, Plea for Ireland, Smile whene’er youcan, The wood of sturs, A thonght, The bhousematd, The goblin cat, Aristocrats, The knightly newsboy, A eall to vote, The modern fraud, Running for legislature, To a young man, Heads, ‘The new dispensation, Turning the grindstone, Short sermon, _ THE DIME CENTENNIAL SPEAKER, No, 18. Columbia, Washington, Appeal for liberty, The American hero, Resistance to oppression Patriotism, Green Mountain boys, Eloquence of Otis, Washington, America must be free, Freedom the only hope, Day of disinthrallment, No alternative but iib’y Carmen bellicosum, Bord of Bunker Hill, The Fourth of July, Warren’s address, « A call to liberty, Good faith, Revolutionary soldiers, Our responsibility. British barbarity, How freedom is won, Adams and liberty, Our duties, Our destiny; |The American flag, |The true union, pers han independence Washington & Franklin | Sink or swim, The buff and blue, The union, The martyr spy, Lexington, Our only hope, Declaration of Indep’e, The liberty bell, Washi gton’s attributes What we are, Our great trust, God bless our States, Looking backward, M>rion and his men, Liberty aud unica, Anoble plea, Original Yankee Doodle Wo'fe’s address, Watchi g for Montg’y, The national ensign, God save tho union, Our natal day, - ‘The 22d of February, New England’s dead, _ Repeal! repeal! The true hero, Old Ironsides, Spates to history. Unele Sem’s a hundred Centennial ton, Dime School Series—Dialogues, DIME DIALOGUES No, 31. Barr’s boarders. For various characters. A lively afternoon. For six males. A new mother hubbard. For six little girls, Bread on the waters. For four females, Forninst the scientists. For two males. Sloman’s angel. For two males and one female. What each would do. For six little girls. Twenty dollars a lesson. For eleven males. Aunt Betsy’s ruse. For three females and one male. The disconcerted supernaturalist, and audience ‘ voi-es.” Grandma Grumbleton’s protest. For a “ grand- ma” and several girl grandchildren. For one male Nothing like training. For a number of males, The bubble. For two little girls, Medicine for rheumatiz. For two “cullod pus- sons,”” That book agent. For three males and one fe- male. The well taught lesson. A turn of the tide. female characters. A true carpet-bagger. Applied metaphysics. hat Humphrey did. females, For five little boys. For three male ard three For three females. For six males. For five males and three DIME DIALOGUES No. 32, A persecuted man For various characters. Too curious for comfort, For two males and two females. Onder false guise. For several females and chi A sure guide. For seven males. The eight little boys from nonsense land. How they see the world, For five little girls. The doctor’s office. For several characters, male and female. Too much side show. For a number of boys. Paras Ponderous was paid. For four young jacdies, Polywog versus Wolypog. For numerous citi- zens. Tongue and temper. For two ladies, The flour of the family. For three ladies and one gentleman. Middleton’s mistake, For five males. A valuable neighbor. For one lady and one boy, ‘The man of cheek, For two males. Mr. and Mrs. Blizzard at home. wife. Morgan’s money. For five males, The courtship of Miles Standish, For echool festival. For man and DIME DIALOGUES No. 33. The wrong trunk. For several male characters and one female, Saucy Jack Lee, For 4 males and 4 females, The pretty preacher. For two young ladies. A contrast. For two little girls. Only Joe. For five ladies and one gentleman. The tables turned. for several males. Why did you doit Fora school of little cbil- dren. She had him there. For one lady and one gen- tleman. A report of the affair. For two gentlemen. Mrs. Arnold’s misconception, For two gentle men and three ladies. The year ’round. For twelve impergonators. Defending the castle. For? males and 2 females, A perfectly veracious man, For one. male and one female, Sympathetic sympathy. ‘For three males and two females. Ananias at home. For 1 male and 3 females, The man from Bangor. For one gentleman and three ladies. Casabianca in two versions, For two boys. DIME DIALOGUES No, 34, : It’s English you know. For three (or six) males and eight fema'es. A much misunderstood man, For one male and one female, The glass man. For seven maies. Mrs. Podberry’s views on education. females aud several children, girls. How she managed him. For one maleg one fe- male, and child. The oyster resurrection. For two males and two females. A neighborly quarrel. For two males. Blessed are the pure in heart. For four females. What the boys knew of it. For a school—all males For two A warm reception. For 2 males and 2 females, Supposings. For ten little girls. we en I grow up to be a man, For six little OY 8. Enforcing amoral. For three or four males and several feinales. Playing big folks. For several children, What are little girls good for! For nine little girls. - The bump-scientist’s reception in Clarionville Center. For eight males, or seven males and one female. More than she bargained for, For three females and one male, , DIME DIALOGUES No. 35. In the wrong house. For 2 males and 2 females. The sham of it all. For 3 females and 1 male. | The surest proof, For several males and one fe-| male. | Too much for Jones and Smith, For two males. | Naughty Boy Blue. For Mother Goose and sev-| eral children. ‘ {| Oniy a working girl. For4 females and 2 males. How he got even with his enemy. [or 2 males. Mrs. Bigson’s victory. For 1 male and 1 female. | The mysterious boarder. For three females and} two males, | The Mugwump sisters. For a number of females. Dolly Madison’s method, For two males and one female. 4 Miss Lighthead in the country. For one male and one female. The crnel king. For seven little boys. Shoddy and Wool. For 5 males and 6 females. The best profession of all. For four little girls and one grown person. Florence Elton’s mistake, For two males and two females. The bewitched music-box. For two males, {3 The above books are sold by Newsdealers everywhere, or will be sent, post-paid, to any address, on receipt of price, 10 cents each, : BEADLE AND ADAMS, Publishers, 98 William St,, N, ¥y_ | Sema sree ar pana A young mutineer. For a little boy and girl, Dime School Se The king discrowned. For an entire school. Meeting of the Bulgertown philomelian literary | DIME DIALOGUES No. 36, The happiest man in the county. For two male ries—Dialogues. - and two females, society. For 5 or more males and 3 females, |The repudiated legacy. For two females. Wise and otherwise. For six little boys. | Prof. F The too good-looking man, For three males and Moonshine. For six little girls. Beware of Mr. Oily Gammon. For four males. | Sarah Hannah. For four females, { The cowboy cousin, For two males and three| females. The proverb children. For six little girls. ‘achyderm’s mastodon. For four males. two females. How Cesar conquered. For one female, five males and a “ ghost.’” Spoons as an intercessor. For three females, How Wiggins was cured, For four males. DIME DIALOGUES No. 37. The Fairies’ prisoner. A scenic and dress piece Cherubino and Seraphina. 1 male and J female. for a young ladies’ school, or garden party, or The comic valentine. For 4 boys and teacher, parlor entertainment. The McFlackertys and MecDoozlers. males and three females. | The children of the week. For 7 little girls. |Thetwo Roberts. For five males and one female. For two Keeping bachelor’s hall. For several males and one female. {Four wishes. For four little girls. Uncle Raspy’s ruse. For 1 male and 4 females. Things are seldom what they seem. For two The land of * once on-a-time.” 7 little boys. males and two females. Jupiter Johnsum’s affairs. For one male and one The charity student. For several girls. female and one outsider. A catch at last. For 3 males and 1 female, The bores ofa day. For 4 males and 6 females. The bogus doctor. For four males and a ghost. Rather mixed. For a number of small girls. The culd Oirish tay. For several males and two, & females. { Preparing for an exhibition, For teacher and three children, DIME DIALOGUES No. 38. A wild Irishman’s diplomacy. For five males and four females. Aunt Deborah in the city. For two females. A Chinaman in camp. For three males. Playing hostess. For two females and child. Slightly hilarious. For four males. What happened to Hannah. For two males and one female. - Z The awakening of the flowers. For agirl’s school.( PJato Pendexter’s ashes. For four females and wo males. | The spirit of discontent.» For nine little boys. The good strikers. For six little girls. The missing essay. For girls and Teacher. The well taught lesson. For several boys. Ephraim Black’s politics. For four males and one female. The strike that failed. for three boys, DIME DIALOGUES No, 39. Hospitality. For three males and two females. Robert’s experiment. For two males and two females, Quite another state of affairs. For five males. A flowery conference. For several little girls and boys. Slightly mixed. For three acting characters and children. Mes, Dexter’s personal. For four males and two females. Clothes don’t make the man. For several boys, Comparisons. For two little girls. A decisive failure. For two males and two females. - Candor wins the day. For seven females. Their aspirations. For six boys and one girl. The big hollow school, For a school and several visitors. A very clear demonstration. For two girls. The dream lesson. For two males and three females. i Why he did not like the country. For two boys and several listeners. Liberty. A spectacular dialogue for an entire school or dramatic society. In seven seenes, DIME DIALOGUES No. 40 The widow’s might. For 2 males and 4 females, Developing a developer. For five males, A much needed instance, For three males, A happy understanding. For two boys and two teachers. “The tragedy of the ten little boys, His training day. For 1 male and 2 females The society for the suppression of scandal. For a number of females, “ The moral of adream. For two boys and several “* dwarfs.” Wanted: a divorce. For 2 males and 1 female. Deceiving to win. For two males and tw females. Retreat the better part of valor. For three little girls and a boy. The long looked-for come at last. For one male and three females. Pat answers the advertisement. For 2 males. ae peas party, For a number of parti- pants. Whom the Gods would destroy. For the amateur stage and for numerous characters, * Sunday School now and then. For 2 little girls. An hour in the waiting-room. For ten speakers Meddling with Santa Claus. For a number of characters. and nnmerous travelers. ) {™ The above books are sold by Newsdealers everywhere, or will be sent, post-pald, to any address, on receipt of price, 10 cents each, BEADLE AND ADAMS, Publishers, 98 William 8t,, N, Y, DIME SCHOOL SERIES.—Speakers. DIME SERIO-COMIC SPEAKER, No. 19, The American phalanx,|Sour grapes, |Pompey Squash. Smart boy’s opinicz, The same, , |The meses ‘Claws,’ Mr. Ts ie version, Tho veiloxious Worm The old canoe, The ager, The midnight express, |Corns, Room at the top, Fish, Morality’s worst enemy|Up early, New England weather,|Judge not thy brother, |The silent teacher, Not 80 easy, Bluggs, The dog St. Bernard, The working people, {Dead beat in_ politics, Leedle Yawcob Strauss,|The liberal candidate, The moneyless man, |War and dueling, A fable, A boy’s opinion of hens, Strike through the knot,|Horses, A protest, The tramp’s views, Good alone are great, An agricultiral address,/Excelsior, Moral littleness, The great Napoleon, The new scriptures, Paddy’s version of ex- Yawcob Hoffeltegobble.|The two lives, The trombone, celsior, The setting sachem, The present age, Don’t despond, The elose, hard man, Street Arab’s sermon,|At maternity The mill cannot grind,|Apples and application, Address to young ladies,|Good-night, What became of a lie, Old ebicoes: A little big man, Truth, Now and then, Man, generically cone The test of friendship, |The funny man, How ub vos dot for high| sidered, The price of pleasure, |The little orator, Early rising, lA chemical wedding. DIME SELECT SPEAKER, No. 20. God, “(Penalty of selfishness, _/Now is the time, Won’t you let my papa Save the Republic, Lights Out, — : Exhortation to patriots, wore seo Watches of the night, {Clothes ‘don’t make the|He is everywhere, Conscience the best The closing year, mau, ~~ . A dream of darkness, uide, Wroug and right road, |The last man, __ Religion the keystone, -| Whom to honor, An enemy to society, ~|Mind yourown business|Scorn of office, The lords of labor, Barbara Freitchie, My Fourth of July sen-|Who are the free? Early rising, The most precious gift, | _timents, The city on the hill, Pumpernickel and Pep- Intellectual and moral) My Esquimaux friend, |How to save the Re-| schikoff, power, Story of the little ridhin | public, Only a tramp, Thanatopsis, My castle in Spain, The good old times, Cage them, ‘New era of labor Shonny Schwartz, Monmouth, Time’s soliloquy, ‘Work of faith, The Indian’s wrongs, Hope, Find a way or make it, A dream, Address to young men, | Moral Desolation, The musquito hunt, La dame aux camelias, | Beautiful Snow, Self-evident truths, { The hero, DIME FUNNY SPEAKER, No. 21, Colonel Sellers eluci-|One hundred years ago,|The new mythology Joan of Are, A dates, De’sperience ob de Reb-| _ (Vulcan,) “|The blessings of farm Clory mit ter Sthars| ’rendQuacko Stroug, |The new mythology| life, —— ‘ und Sthripes, dollar or two, ‘an,) e people,” Terence Orbowd’s pat-|On some more hash, The new mythology |'Thermopyle, riotism, Where money is king, (Baechus,) |Cata, ak The line-kiln elub ora-|Professor Dinkelspeigel-|I kin nod trink to-ni ‘hd, | Jim ~ Bludso ; ‘ion, man on the origin of/The new church doc-| Prairie B Farmer Thornbush on|_ lite, trine, A catastropl fools, Konsentrated wisdum, |Wilyum’s watermillion, |The maniae’s defense, The fiddler, Joseph Brown and the| Josiah Axtell’s oration, Be al eit ss her! The regular season, mince pie, Parson Barebones’s an-\Be miserable, ~ The school-boy’s lament, John Jenkins’s sermon, athema, __ », |Deodds versus Daubs, Dot baby off mine, A parody on “ Tell me|Cresar Squash on heat, |The Oadi’s judgment, Bluggs once more, ye winged winds,” Fritz Valdher is made a}That calf, ~—— ‘Views on agriculture, 1A foggy day, mason. see eerie DIME JOLLY SPEAKER, NO. 22 Grandfather’s clock, The delights of Spring, |A weak ease, A new declaration of The XIXtlr century, Josh Billings’s views, |They may be HERBY er independence, Mary’s von little ram, Beasteses, Orpheus, A side view,|The jolly old fellow. A A familiar lecture on! How tew pik out a/Perseus, A “clagsic,” Christmas welcome, science, watermellon, Rigid information, My first cont, Old and new time, How tew pik out a dog|The funny man, The fire-brivade. Clayfoot’s spirit race, How tew pik outa kat| Don’t. give it away, A patriotic “ splurge,” The village school How tew pik out ajA dark warning. AjThe good old times, in~ ‘A sermon for the sisters, wife, “colored ? dissertation] deed! A congratula~ De filosofy ob fun, This side and that, An awful warning, An tory reminder, are di coverer,| Nocturna) mewsings, effective appeal, Stealing the sacred fire, A heathen’s seore, The lunatic’s reverie, | De parson sowed de seed| The story of Promes Der dog und der lobster,| A bathetic ballad, P.mpey’s Thanksgiving] _theus modernized, The young tramp, The ear, turkey, The owl and the pussy~ Delights of the season, |Buckbone, The new essay on man,! cat. en” Si (2 The above books are sold by Newsdealers everywnere, ill be sent, post-paid, to an: address, on receipt of price, 10 Roots saan 2 oe Ceca : BEADLE & ADAMS, Publishers, 98 William St., N. Y, Lt ‘i Popular Dime‘ Hand-Books:. BEADLE AND ADAMS, PUBLISHERS, NEW YORK. Hach volume 100 12mo pages, sent post-paid on receipt of price—ten cents each. GAZIE AND PASTIME SERIES. HAND-BOOK OF SUMMER SPORTS—Comprising Walking, Running, Jump- ing, Hare and Hounds, Bicycling, Archery, etc, With Complete American and English Athletic Rules. . HAND-BOOK OF WINTER SPORTS. Embracing Skating, (on the ice and or rollers,) Rink-Ball, Curling, Iee-Boating and Football. B,( HAND-BOOK OF PEDESTRIANISM—Giving the Rules for Training and:Prav- tice in Walking, Running, Leaping, Vauiting, etc. CRICKET AND FOOT-BALL—A desirable Companion, containing complete _instructivus it vue elements of Bowling, Batting and Wielding; also the Re- vised Laws of the Game; Remarks on the Duties of Umpires; the Mary-le-Bore Cricket Club Rules and Regulations; Bets, etc. | ’ bi cine DIME BOOK OF CROQUET—A complete guide to the game, with the latest, rules, diagrams, Croquet Dictionary, Parlor Croquet, etc. DIME GUIDE TO SWIMMING—Embracing all the rules of the art for both sexes, YACHTING AND ROWING—This volume will be found very complete as a ae tothe conduct of watercraft, and full of interesting information alike to he amateur and the novice. RIDING AND DRIVING—A sure guide to correct Horsemanship, with com- lete directions for the road and field; and a specific section of directions and information for female equestrians. BOOK OF 100 GAMES—Out-door and In-door SUMMER GAMES, for Tourists and Families in the Country, Picnics, etc., comprising 100 Games, Forfeits, etc. DIME CHESS INSTRUCTOR—A. complete hand-hook of instruction, giving the entertaining mysteries of this most interesting and fascinating of games, YOUNG PEOPLE’S SERIES. 1—DIME GENTS’ LETTER-WRITER—Embracing Forms, Models, Suggestions and Rules for the use of all classes, on all occasions. 2—DIME BOOK OF ETIQUET TE—For Ladies and Gentlemen: being a Guide to _ . True Gentility and Good-Breeding, and a Directory to the Usages of society. 38—DIME BOOK OF ee eh Verses for Valentines, Mottoes, Coup- lets, St. Valentine Verses, Bridal and Marriage Verses, Verses of Love, etc. 4DIME BOOK OF DREAMS—Their Romance and Mystery; with a complete interpreting Dictionary, Compiled from the most accredited sources. 5—DIME FORTUNE-TELLER—Comprising the art of Fortune-Telling, how to read Character, ete. 6—DIME LADIES’ LETTER-WRITER-—Giving the various forms of Letters of School Days, Love and Friendship, of Society, ete. 7—DIME LOVERS’ CASKET—A Treatise and Guide to Friéndship, Love, Court- ship and Marriage. Embracing also a complete Floral Dictionary, ete. 8—DIME BaLL-ROOM COMPANION And Guide to Dancing. Givin‘: rules of Etiquette, hints ¢n Private Parties, toilettes for the Ball-room, ete. 12—DIME BOOK OF BEAUTY—A delightful book, full of interesting informa- tion, It deserves a place in the hands of every one who would be beautiful. FAMILY SERIES. 1. DIME COOK BOOK. _ 4. DIME FAMILY PHYSICIAN, - 2. DIME RECIPE BOOK. 5, DIME. DRESSMAKING AND MIL- 3. DIME HOUSEWIFE’S MANUAL, LINERY. ; joe The above books are sold by Newsdealers everywhere, or will be sent, ost-paid, to any address, on receipt of price 10 cents each, BEADLE & ADAMS, ublishera, 98 William street, New Yor » Druze Dratoaues Dime DIALOGUES Dime DIALOGUES Dime DIALOGUES Dime DiaLocurs Dima DIALOGUES Dime DIALoguES Dime DIALoGuEs Dime DIALOGUES Dimg DIALOGUES Dims DraLogurs Dimgm DIALogoas Dime DIALoauEs Dime Dratocurs Dims DraLoeurs Dime Diatoaeu: Dime DIALoGuEs Litile Folks. Dote DIALOGUES Dime DIALOGUES see es DIALOGUES AND SPRAKERS. ~TOR= School Exhibitions and. Home Entertainments. ——————— THE DIME DIALOGUES. Each volume, 100 pages 12mo., containing from Noumper OnE Noumser Two, Numer THREB, Numeser Four, NuMeer Five, Number Scx, NuMbER SEVEN, Noumeber. Kient, Nomper Ning, Noumeer TEN, Numeer ELEVEN, Numper TWELVE, NuMBER THIRTHEN, NoumpBer Fourteen, Numeer FIFTEEN, NUMBER SIXTEEN, NomBer SEVENTEEN NvmpBer EIGHTEEN. Noumeer WineTEEN, Dwg DraLocurs Dime DIALOGUES Dime DiasLoaues Dimg DraLoeuEs Dime DIALoGuEs Dnie DiaLoaues Dimz DIALoauEs Diag DiaLoguns Dime DiALOGUES Dime DrAvoat Dive Dranoat Dims DraLoaies Diaz Draroev Dime Dratoat Dims Dianogurs Dime DraLoauEs Dime DIALoaurs Dime DIALOGUES Dime DIALoavEs Dive DiALoauEs 15 to 25 pleces, NuMBER TWENTY. Numer TWENTY-ONE. NuMBER TWENTY-TWO, NuMBER TWENTY-THREE NumBer TWENTY-FOUR, NUMBER TIVENTY-FIVE, NuMBER ‘TWENTY-SIX. NUMBER 'TWENTY-SEVEN NuMBER TWENTY-EIGA? NuMBER TWENTY-NINE. Noumper THIRTY, Number TEIRTY-ONE, NumpBer THIRTY-TWO. NuMBER THIRTY-THREE, Noumper THIRTY-FOUR. NuMBER THIRTY-FIVE. NumBerR THIRTY-SIX. Noumper THIRTY-SEVEN, NoumpBer THIATY-EIGHT. Number, THIRTY-NINE. Dime Dianogues Number Forty, THE DIME SPEAKERS, Fach Speaker, 100 pages 12mo., containing from’50 to 75 pieces 13—-Dime ScHoon SPEAKER, 14—Dime Loupicrous SPEAKER. 15—Caru Prerzet’s Komikau SPEAKER, 16—Dimr Youru’s SprAKER, 17?—Dime ELoguent SPEAKER, 18—Diwr Han, CotumerA SPEAKER, 19—Dir Srrio-Comic SPEAKER, 20—Dim SeLect SPEAKER. 21—Dime Funny SPEAKER, 22—Dimer JoLiy SPEAKER. 1—Diwre AMERICAN SPEAKER, 2—Dime NATIONAL Sp 2 38—Drie Parrioric SPEAKE! 4—Dime Comic Spr akur, 5—Dime EHLocuri ms. 6--Dime Humoro\ & SPEAKBR, 7—DmME STANDARD SPEAKER, 8--Dive Stump SPEAKER, 9—Dime JUVENILE SPEAKER, 10—Dimm SPREAD-EAGLE SPEAKER, 11—Dore Desater & CHATRMAN’s Guipr 23—Dime Dratect SPEAKER. 12—Dimae ExeisiTioN SPEAKER. 24—Dime READINGS AND RECTTATIONS, 25—Dimm BurLEsguE SPEAKER, These two series of books have no equal for utility and merit of matter, and have a wider popularity among teachers, scholars, schools and amateurs, than any series or single volumes yet published, at any price, in this country (= For sale by all newsdealers; or sent, post-paid, to any address, on rereipt of prico—TEN CENTS EACH. BEADLE AND ADAMS, Publishers, 98 William St., N. Y.